I am so grateful for my mom. Okay, this is a statement that should go without saying - as Mister T expounds you should "Treat your momma right" - but in this particular instance, I have to directly credit her with my love of exploitation flicks. For the majority of my childhood, she took me to the local drive-in for all manner of schlock and exploitation movies: The Nude Bomb, Death Ship, Galaxy of Terror, Jaws 3D, Battle Beyond the Stars, CHUD, Yor: Hunter from the Future, Halloween II - the list of B-Movies I was directly exposed to every weekend is endless.
Bad parenting? Probably - but I love her just the same for it.
Where am I going with this? While I'm about as far away from the sleezy grindhouse theaters of 42nd street in New York and you can possibly get and still be in the United States, while I never actually set foot in one of those all-night exhibitions in Times Square (back before Mayor Ed Koch cleaned up the area and gentrified the hell out of it), I still appreciate schlock in all forms. Fortunately Synapse films is there to feed my habit with their outstanding series of wonderfully wild and trashy and twisted trailers: the 42nd Street Forever series.
Volume Five, by the way, comes to us with the help of the folks at Austin, Texas' legendary Alamo Drafthouse Cinema - which if you haven’t heard of (and/or been too yet), you need to check out. Opened in the late nineties, the Alamo Drafthouse is a movie theater/restaurant, with food and drink service while you watch the movies. The Drafthouse is famous for showing old exploitation flicks and obscure kids movies and cheap action flicks, and has grown in popularity to host all kinds of special events (like the annual film festival hosted by Quentin Tarantino). In short, The Alamo has become the center of the schlock and exploitation movie scene in America.
We start off with a solid gold nugget of reto cheese: Charlton Heston on a tennis court. Chuck is taking time out his busy day to explain the then newly implemented MPAA ratings system. Despite the potential for camp, Chuck actually plays it straight, delivering some pretty solid advice to the parents: be responsible for what your children see, use the guidelines and don’t let other people decide for you. Now if only Hollywood would follow that advice today. . . .
With the preamble over, it's off to the races! And what a curtain puller: A Life of Ninja! I've never heard of this before, but the trailer makes me want it more that air and food and water and sex itself. There's glowing eyes, dismemberment in alleyways, over the top dubbing, and gratuitous shower scenes. This thing looks like Kung Fu gold! Then there's 1973's Sting of the Dragon Masters, a flick I dimly remember watching in my youth on Kung Fu Theater on my local UHF station. And yet again since Asia really doesn’t care about copyrights, we get the North by Northwest score in the soundtrack! And then there's the trailer for Sonny Chiba's The Bodyguard - not very rare (it's on BCI's Sonny Chiba double feature disc), it's still a blast, with the chant of "Viva! Chiba! Viva! Chiba!" bringing things to an orgasmic crescendo. Finally rounding out the Kung Fu opening, we get a sample of Shaw Brothers and the trailer to Mad Monkey Kung Fu, probably one of their better known projects - at least in America. It's a good flick and the trailer does it justice!
Shifting gears, we head into the Wild Animals on a Rampage genre, leading off with Enzo G. Castellari's The Shark Hunter. Enzo is one of my favorite Italian exploitation directors, and him teaming up with Franco Nero and a giant shark promises to be one hell of a flick. And then we get Wild Animal Porn in a flick called Birds Do It, Bees Do It, a Mondo documentary about animals mating.
Whatever floats your boat, I guess.
From Animal Porn to Human Porn, we jump into soft core territory with an entry from Mister B.I.G himself, Bert I. Gordon, a flick called Let's Do It! I've never seen it, but the trailer seems harmless enough. More outrageous is Chatterbox, a story about Rip Taylor and a singing Vagina. Yup, only in the seventies, people, only in the seventies. Then there's a whole bunch of skin with Danish Love Acts, with plenty of slow motion sex over a bed of smooth jazz. Rounding out the Soft Core Sexploitation section is a flick called Group Marriage, which apparently is a bunch of youngsters shacking up together in a house and swapping bodily fluids.
Sonny Chiba makes a return appearance as a sci-fi samurai in a Japanese flick called Message From Space (with Vic Morrow?!?), there's the amazingly awesome entry MindWarp (A classic from Roger Corman) and quite possibly the best trailer of the disc - Hal Needham's career-ending Megaforce. The movie itself is so brilliantly bad, it's the gem of my Horrible Movie Collection. The trailer manages to distill all that gloriously bad movie-ness into 120 seconds. Fantastic! Then we get mobsters versus solders in a movie I simply have to track down: Zebra Force, which looks like it delivers tons of car chases, explosions, gunfights killings - and a one-armed man with a machine gun. Oh, and it promises to have a chase equal to The French Connection or Bullitt.
We'll see about that one.
There's an entry from Indonesia called Blazing Battle, set in the south seas of World War II with all manner of fighting, punji stick impaling and brutality against the enemy, And then Sonny Chiba shows up as a Three Time Offender in International Secret Police: The Diamond Trap, sporting some of the worst English translations since "All Your Base Are Belong To Us!
In need of some wilderness adventure? How about the shameless Tarzan rip-off Karzan: Master of the Jungle, staring Johnny Kissmuller, Jr. Did I mention Lee "I'm Banging Farrah Fawcett and you aren’t" Majors in a Viking epic called The Norseman? How about Roger Corman's Sorceress, featuring two buxom blondes with Kung Fu and Supernatural powers? Well, it is Roger Corman – the buxom part goes without saying.
Now keep in mind, I'm just hitting the highlights here. There's simply way too much to get into any sort of detail. I'm skipping Slaughterhouse Rock, the Rock and Roll horror flick starring Toni Basil, the Charles Manson mondo documentary The Manson Massacre, the Bill Cosbey produced remake of The House of Wax or the shameless Rosemary's Baby rip off The Devil Within Her.
For completion sake, here is the full list of everything included:
* A Life of Ninja
* Sting of the Dragon Masters
* The Bodyguard
* Mad Monkey Kung Fu
* Wonder Women
* Lucky Seven
* a vintage concession stand advertisement (our stand is state of the art cool!)
* The Shark Hunter
* Birds Do It, Bees Do It
* Let’s Do It!
* Chatterbox
* Danish Love Acts
* Group Marriage
* Violated
* Caged Virgins
* another concession stand spot (racist BBQ sauce? YUM!)
* Message From Space
* The Terrornauts
* Mind Warp
* Megaforce
* Zebra Force,
* Blazing Battle,
* James Tont: Operation One,
* International Secret Police
* Machine Gun McCain
* Stacey,
* Lightning Bolt,
* 3 Supermen In The West,
* Pretty Maids All in a Row,
* Putney Swope,
* Norman, Is That You?,
* Redneck County
* Moonrunners
* A commercial for really nasty looking shrimp rolls at the consession stand
* The Fabulous World of Jules Verne
* Magic Christmas Tree
* Pinnochio’s Birthday Party
* The Magic Kite
* The Secret of Magic Island
* The Norseman
* Sorceress
* Terror in the Wax Museum,
* The Manson Massacre,
* The Devil Within Her
* Slaughterhouse Rock.
Whew. Seriously, that's just about two hours of grindhouse goodness all in one spot. And the great thing is, often an exploitation trailer is way better than the actual movie, where you have to sit through boring exposition and character development to get to the good stuff. Here we just have a nonstop parade of bare titties, blood splatter, explosions, freaky monsters, gun fights and car chases for two solid hours. For a Bad Movie Junkie like me, these discs make Crack seem like a Popsicle.
THE DVD -
As one can imagine, the video is all over the map here. Some of the trailers look awesome and some show some serious print damage. They've all been presented in a anamorphic widescreen, though - and that's a giant step in the right direction for DVD quality. The Dolby Digital mono soundtrack is pretty much is the same quality - gets the job done, but not outstanding.
THE EXTRAS -
A couple of them this time, a half hour documentary on the Alamo Drafthouse (which should be more than enough to make anyone want to visit the Lone Star State) and a commentary with Tim League (the owner of the Alamo Drafthouse) and Lars Nilsen and Zack Carlson (programmers at the Alamo Drafthouse). Commentary for trailers? I hear you say. Don’t knock it - these guys really know their shit. It's a fun, entertaining, informative chat track stuffed with trivia and insight. Also, the DVD comes with an eight page booklet of liner notes, detailing the history of the Alamo Drafthouse, plus some lobby art reproductions.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
If sitting through two hours of bad movies sounds as much fun as pulling teeth, then this DVD is not for you. If, on the other hand, you're like me and cant get enough bloods and tits and Kung Fu, then 42nd Street Forever 5 is right up your sleezy alley. The disc is chocked full of vintage goodness and will provide hours of entertainment for the fan of exploitation flicks.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
CITY HUNTER 3 - Get wild and tough
While I've been an anime fan all my life (more or less), I was mostly unaware of City Hunter until fairly recently. Oh sure I've heard the name and I found a couple of undubbed, unsubtitled pirated episodes at my local Chinatown video store, but beyond that, I was largely unaware of the franchise. But when ADV gave the series a proper release, I decided to give it a spin as a blind buy.
Boy was I lucky! 300 bucks for this DVD set on Amazon? You gotta be kidding me! Anyway, I digress. . . .
Ladies and gentlemen (especially the ladies), meet Ryo Seaba - troubleshooter, investigator, gun-for-hire and ladies man. If you need help, if the police cant help you, if you have no where else to turn, leave "XYZ" on the message board at Shinjuku train station and City Hunter will respond to your plea.
His skill with his Desert Eagle is unparalleled - he can place a shot on a target, in the same hole, six times in a row. He can shoot the gun out of the hand of a thug holding a lady hostage through the gaps of a moving subway train at rush hour. His skill with the ladies. . . not so much. He's lecherous, he spends his free time hunting panties, his favorite word is mokkori - which is roughly the American equivalent of "Schwing!". He's about as subtle as a three hundred pound hammer to the head.
Which - funny you should mention that - is where his assistant Kaori Makimura comes in. She is primarily responsible for screening clients, helping investigations and other managerial tasks. She is also charged with keeping Ryo's libido in check, often by striking him about the head with a three hundred pound hammer.
As one might tell, the series is kind of goofy, bordering on the Loony Tunes at times. Kaori keeps her impossibly large hammers in the same place that the Highlander keeps his sword. Ryo's hunt for mokkori is ludicrous at best, ridiculous at worst. It is, at the easiest descriptor, a comedy.
Ah, but wait a moment - when Ryo needs to get his game face on, the trickster and the fool melt away, revealing a total badass who gets the job done. Despite the comedy and letch, the show is also full of Drama and Crowning Moments Of Heartwarming - like the time that Ryo was hired by a doctor who was dying of cancer. She intended to pay Ryo's fee from her life-insurance, hiring him to kill the sadistic boxer who murdered her lover. After finishing the job, rather than taking her life-insurance and letting her go back to drowning in alcohol, Ryo . . . well, cue the Manly Tears from the audience.
City Hunter started as manga by Tsukasa Hojo, running from 1985 to 1991. It spawned a four-season Anime series, several Direct-To-Video specials and a live-action movie starring Jackie Chan. This would be the third of the four seasons - hence City Hunter 3. Season three is only 13 episodes long, which I think why it's a weaker entry into the franchise. Unlike previous seasons, where each story was a two parter, most of the episodes here are stand-alone. We get some double length episodes towards the end, but the majority of the stores are wrapped up in 25 minuets. This doesn’t really let the series build momentum like it used to.
Don't get me wrong, City Hunter 3 sticks to the formula, so it's not bad - it's just not quite as badassed as it used to be.
Being an older series - produced in the late eighties and early nineties - the animation for City Hunter is a bit rough and primitive. It's not exactly Speed Racer or Star Blazers level of animation, but don't go in expecting slick CGI. That said, it's still very serviceable and looks smooth for the era. The voice acting is, well it's Akira Kamiya - the very voice of Manliness itself. He's done Ken from Fist of the North Star, Roy Focker from Macross. He's probably the Ur Example when it comes to Hot Blooded characters, and fits the roll perfectly.
THE DVD -
The video quality holds up well considering the age of the series. There's some print damage here and there, but overall it looks pretty good. The colors have not faded, there's not much over saturation, and everything seems clean. As far as soundtrack goes - since AVD films was not anticipating moving a great many units, plus the HUGE number of episodes to dub (65 in just the first season alone) we only get a Japanese audio track with optional subtitles.
THE EXTRAS -
Not surprisingly, we get very meager handful of extras - mainly trailers. There's a handful of City Hunter trailers - City Hunter the Motion Picture a.k.a. Goodbye, My Sweetheart), . 357 Magnum, The Million Dollar Conspiracy, Bay City Wars, and Secret Service. Then there's an assortment of ADV trailers for then current releases: Eden's Bowy, Princess Blade, Pretear, Orphen 2: Revenge, City Hunter: Secret Service (again), Cosplay Complex - and that's all.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
It's a damn shame that these things are out of print. While City Hunter Series 3 isn't bad, it's pretty short and certainly not worth the three hundred bucks that you get it for on Amazon. So on that basis alone, I'd say skip this set, unless you can find a copy at a used store for cheap. That said, you can get the second half of season two for less than twenty bucks from www.rightstuf.com - and THAT is well worth getting at least.
Boy was I lucky! 300 bucks for this DVD set on Amazon? You gotta be kidding me! Anyway, I digress. . . .
Ladies and gentlemen (especially the ladies), meet Ryo Seaba - troubleshooter, investigator, gun-for-hire and ladies man. If you need help, if the police cant help you, if you have no where else to turn, leave "XYZ" on the message board at Shinjuku train station and City Hunter will respond to your plea.
His skill with his Desert Eagle is unparalleled - he can place a shot on a target, in the same hole, six times in a row. He can shoot the gun out of the hand of a thug holding a lady hostage through the gaps of a moving subway train at rush hour. His skill with the ladies. . . not so much. He's lecherous, he spends his free time hunting panties, his favorite word is mokkori - which is roughly the American equivalent of "Schwing!". He's about as subtle as a three hundred pound hammer to the head.
Which - funny you should mention that - is where his assistant Kaori Makimura comes in. She is primarily responsible for screening clients, helping investigations and other managerial tasks. She is also charged with keeping Ryo's libido in check, often by striking him about the head with a three hundred pound hammer.
As one might tell, the series is kind of goofy, bordering on the Loony Tunes at times. Kaori keeps her impossibly large hammers in the same place that the Highlander keeps his sword. Ryo's hunt for mokkori is ludicrous at best, ridiculous at worst. It is, at the easiest descriptor, a comedy.
Ah, but wait a moment - when Ryo needs to get his game face on, the trickster and the fool melt away, revealing a total badass who gets the job done. Despite the comedy and letch, the show is also full of Drama and Crowning Moments Of Heartwarming - like the time that Ryo was hired by a doctor who was dying of cancer. She intended to pay Ryo's fee from her life-insurance, hiring him to kill the sadistic boxer who murdered her lover. After finishing the job, rather than taking her life-insurance and letting her go back to drowning in alcohol, Ryo . . . well, cue the Manly Tears from the audience.
City Hunter started as manga by Tsukasa Hojo, running from 1985 to 1991. It spawned a four-season Anime series, several Direct-To-Video specials and a live-action movie starring Jackie Chan. This would be the third of the four seasons - hence City Hunter 3. Season three is only 13 episodes long, which I think why it's a weaker entry into the franchise. Unlike previous seasons, where each story was a two parter, most of the episodes here are stand-alone. We get some double length episodes towards the end, but the majority of the stores are wrapped up in 25 minuets. This doesn’t really let the series build momentum like it used to.
Don't get me wrong, City Hunter 3 sticks to the formula, so it's not bad - it's just not quite as badassed as it used to be.
Being an older series - produced in the late eighties and early nineties - the animation for City Hunter is a bit rough and primitive. It's not exactly Speed Racer or Star Blazers level of animation, but don't go in expecting slick CGI. That said, it's still very serviceable and looks smooth for the era. The voice acting is, well it's Akira Kamiya - the very voice of Manliness itself. He's done Ken from Fist of the North Star, Roy Focker from Macross. He's probably the Ur Example when it comes to Hot Blooded characters, and fits the roll perfectly.
THE DVD -
The video quality holds up well considering the age of the series. There's some print damage here and there, but overall it looks pretty good. The colors have not faded, there's not much over saturation, and everything seems clean. As far as soundtrack goes - since AVD films was not anticipating moving a great many units, plus the HUGE number of episodes to dub (65 in just the first season alone) we only get a Japanese audio track with optional subtitles.
THE EXTRAS -
Not surprisingly, we get very meager handful of extras - mainly trailers. There's a handful of City Hunter trailers - City Hunter the Motion Picture a.k.a. Goodbye, My Sweetheart), . 357 Magnum, The Million Dollar Conspiracy, Bay City Wars, and Secret Service. Then there's an assortment of ADV trailers for then current releases: Eden's Bowy, Princess Blade, Pretear, Orphen 2: Revenge, City Hunter: Secret Service (again), Cosplay Complex - and that's all.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
It's a damn shame that these things are out of print. While City Hunter Series 3 isn't bad, it's pretty short and certainly not worth the three hundred bucks that you get it for on Amazon. So on that basis alone, I'd say skip this set, unless you can find a copy at a used store for cheap. That said, you can get the second half of season two for less than twenty bucks from www.rightstuf.com - and THAT is well worth getting at least.
JACKSON COUNTY JAIL - exploitation this good should be criminal!
I love Roger Corman and his unending parade of schlock, shameless rip-offs of other movies and exploitation drive-in fair. Movies that is utterly suitable for two hours of pure escapism and necking in the back seat. Then there's the occasional one-off that's actually a kind of serious and dramatic, like 1976's Jackson County Jail.
Yvette Mimieux (from the criminally underrated The Black Hole) is Dinah Hunter, producer at a Los Angeles advertising agency. After a spectacularly sexist client totally blows up at her and she comes home to her boyfriend (played by Doctor Johnny Fever!) dipping his wick in another ladies candle, she throws in the towel and goes back to her old job in New York.
But instead of spending the six hours on a plane, she decides to see the country and drive from coast to coast. And so she packs her lemon yellow AMC Pacer (!) and sets off up what I'm guessing to be route 66. One unfortunate carjacking later, she finds herself in Texas in the middle of the night sans possessions, money, or her wallet - which leads to her getting locked up in the local jail on vagrancy charges before getting the shit raped out of her by the Night Duty Policeman.
Bet she's regretting that whole "Get to know America" thing now.
Anyway, after attacking back against her cop rapist and accidentally killing him, next thing she knows, Hunter and a very young (and still really good looking) Tommy Lee Jones are on the run from the long arm of the law. Plenty of car chases, gun fights and daring escapes ensue. . . .
While being in jail is certainly an important plot point, Jackson County Jail isn’t really a Women In Prison flick. There are no gratuitous shower scenes, there's not a lot of nudity, and shockingly, there's actually a plot and reasonably complex characters. Sure it’s a brutal flick, but it's not quite to the level shameless exploitation of flicks like The Big Dollhouse or Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS.
The acting is, for an exploitation flick, top notch stuff. Showcasing Roger Corman uncanny talent for finding untapped talent and bringing it to the screen, we get Tommy Lee Jones first big flick. Jones is just terrific as inmate-on-the-run, Coley Blake, really showing off that, yeah - he is totally star material. Yvette Mimieux hasn’t exactly been burning up the Hollywood charts (her only notable appearances are the old George Pal Time Machine and The Black Hole, plus a couple of made-for-television movies and appearances on the Love Boat) and that's a damn shame, because she is excellent here. Her post rape shell-shock state is emotional with a real sense of her just holding it together.
THE DVD -
There is an older edition of Jackson County Jail that's cropped pan and scan and a newer edition from Shout! Factory presented in 1.78.1 anamorphic widescreen, and it looks pretty good. There is the odd instance of minor print damage here and there, mostly near the reel changes, but it's never intolerable or off-putting. As far as the soundtrack goes, we get a Dolby Digital Mono track that is clean and sharp - not bad considering the low budget nature of this 35 year old flick,
THE EXTRAS -
Shout Factory delivers the good again, with a boatload of trailers (The Big Dollhouse, Big Mama, Piranha and The Great Texas Dynamite Chase - plus a trailer for his new Sci-Fi Channel flick: Sharktopus, which I will now go on record right now as proclaiming the greatest achievement in the history of film EVER!) an interview with Roger Corman conducted by Leonard "Laserblast is better than Blade Runner" Maltin from the mid nineties and an audio commentary with director Michael Miller, cinematographer Bruce Logon and producer Jeff Begun. It takes a little bit to get really going, but once the three loosen up, they have loads of trivia and production tidbits to lay out.
Plus there's the Grindhouse Double-feature feature, where trailers play before each film, recreating the 42nd Street experience without all those pesky junkies and perverts in the theater with you.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
It's unfair to call Jackson County Jail a B-Flick. Sure it comes from Roger Corman, sure it's salacious and titillating and brutal - but it's also well acted and well shot. The story is strong, and there are some great performances from Tommy Lee Jones and Yvette Mimieux.
Yvette Mimieux (from the criminally underrated The Black Hole) is Dinah Hunter, producer at a Los Angeles advertising agency. After a spectacularly sexist client totally blows up at her and she comes home to her boyfriend (played by Doctor Johnny Fever!) dipping his wick in another ladies candle, she throws in the towel and goes back to her old job in New York.
But instead of spending the six hours on a plane, she decides to see the country and drive from coast to coast. And so she packs her lemon yellow AMC Pacer (!) and sets off up what I'm guessing to be route 66. One unfortunate carjacking later, she finds herself in Texas in the middle of the night sans possessions, money, or her wallet - which leads to her getting locked up in the local jail on vagrancy charges before getting the shit raped out of her by the Night Duty Policeman.
Bet she's regretting that whole "Get to know America" thing now.
Anyway, after attacking back against her cop rapist and accidentally killing him, next thing she knows, Hunter and a very young (and still really good looking) Tommy Lee Jones are on the run from the long arm of the law. Plenty of car chases, gun fights and daring escapes ensue. . . .
While being in jail is certainly an important plot point, Jackson County Jail isn’t really a Women In Prison flick. There are no gratuitous shower scenes, there's not a lot of nudity, and shockingly, there's actually a plot and reasonably complex characters. Sure it’s a brutal flick, but it's not quite to the level shameless exploitation of flicks like The Big Dollhouse or Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS.
The acting is, for an exploitation flick, top notch stuff. Showcasing Roger Corman uncanny talent for finding untapped talent and bringing it to the screen, we get Tommy Lee Jones first big flick. Jones is just terrific as inmate-on-the-run, Coley Blake, really showing off that, yeah - he is totally star material. Yvette Mimieux hasn’t exactly been burning up the Hollywood charts (her only notable appearances are the old George Pal Time Machine and The Black Hole, plus a couple of made-for-television movies and appearances on the Love Boat) and that's a damn shame, because she is excellent here. Her post rape shell-shock state is emotional with a real sense of her just holding it together.
THE DVD -
There is an older edition of Jackson County Jail that's cropped pan and scan and a newer edition from Shout! Factory presented in 1.78.1 anamorphic widescreen, and it looks pretty good. There is the odd instance of minor print damage here and there, mostly near the reel changes, but it's never intolerable or off-putting. As far as the soundtrack goes, we get a Dolby Digital Mono track that is clean and sharp - not bad considering the low budget nature of this 35 year old flick,
THE EXTRAS -
Shout Factory delivers the good again, with a boatload of trailers (The Big Dollhouse, Big Mama, Piranha and The Great Texas Dynamite Chase - plus a trailer for his new Sci-Fi Channel flick: Sharktopus, which I will now go on record right now as proclaiming the greatest achievement in the history of film EVER!) an interview with Roger Corman conducted by Leonard "Laserblast is better than Blade Runner" Maltin from the mid nineties and an audio commentary with director Michael Miller, cinematographer Bruce Logon and producer Jeff Begun. It takes a little bit to get really going, but once the three loosen up, they have loads of trivia and production tidbits to lay out.
Plus there's the Grindhouse Double-feature feature, where trailers play before each film, recreating the 42nd Street experience without all those pesky junkies and perverts in the theater with you.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
It's unfair to call Jackson County Jail a B-Flick. Sure it comes from Roger Corman, sure it's salacious and titillating and brutal - but it's also well acted and well shot. The story is strong, and there are some great performances from Tommy Lee Jones and Yvette Mimieux.
Monday, April 4, 2011
THE WONDERFUL HORRIBLE LIFE OF LENI RIEFENSTAHL - fantastic and upsetting at the same time
Before I get into the review, please let me get one thing absolutely, positively crystal clear. In no way am I excusing or condoning anything the Nazis did in World War II. Now I know this may sounds like a no-brainer of a disclaimer, but as I go through this review, I will make some positive statements about Leni Riefenstahl, Nazi sympathizer and propagandist to Hitler and I don't want anyone confusing praise for Leni Riefenstahl the Artist as condoning Adolf, his actions or Nazism in general. Adolf Hitler was, is, and always shall be a mass murdering fuckhead, and I can only hope that he is burning in the deepest, darkest pits of hell.
Now, with the preface out of the way, let us turn our attention to Die Macht der Bilder: Leni Riefenstahl, otherwise known as The Wonderful, Horrible Life of Leni Riefenstahl.
I have to hand it to her; Leni Riefenstahl is a pretty amazing woman: scuba diving at the age of 90, Greenpeace activist, spending years of her life living in Africa with the Nubia tribe, avid mountain climber back in the day when women didn’t do that sort of thing. If not for an eight year period of her life, you'd say she's lived a full active existence that most of us would love to live. Of course the downside - the pink elephant in the room, if you will - was that she had Adolf Hitler on speed dial. No, seriously, she could call up The 'Dolf any time she wanted and chat.
Oh dear.
While it was Joseph Goebbels who ran the Reich Ministry of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda, Hitler saw one of Riefenstahl's early movies and became a huge fan (and, depending on if you believe the rumors - lover - but there's no evidence to support that claim). And so Hitler commissioned Riefenstahl to document the upcoming Nazi Party Congress in Nuremberg, an event that was largely staged for the benefit of her cameras. The end result - The Triumph of the Will. Her next project was Olympia, a documentary on the 1939 Berlin Olympiad, mainly celebrating the power and majesty of the human body. Together, those two (plus a couple more short films here and there) are considered to be the best documentaries* ever put to film. Gorgeously shot with lavish sets and staging, innovated camera techniques well ahead of their time, and deeply influential in the world of film. Hollywood still uses many of the techniques laid down by Riefenstahl to this day.
* The term documentary may not necessarily apply here. While all documentaries are constructed in a way to lead the viewer to the filmmakers way of thinking - and Triumph of the Will certainly fits that bill to a tee - the movie was also constructed from the ground up, with retakes and staged shots and with a level of behind-the-scenes clean up that a normal documentary wouldn’t get. Propaganda? Sure. Documentary? Not so much.
But no matter how you slice it, the subject matter is repugnant and she was best buds with The Most Evil Man Ever for 10 years - and that casts a long, long shadow. And so it falls to Ray Muller and his documentary to deconstruct the occasionally unwilling Leni Riefenstahl, unravel her history, hear her own words, dig deep into her pre and post Nazi career and - most importantly - pose the question can one make art without making a political statement? Is there a line that one can straddle of art versus morality? Can art exist in a vacuum separate from its context?
Despite Riefenstahl obviously well rehearsed answers (she's had 60+ years to practice, after all), Muller and his crew don't mess about. Muller remains objective and neutral, but he does throw the hard fast pitches from time to time. Riefenstahl maintains to this day (well, the 1993 'to this day') that she was never a member of the Nazi Party, that she was an artist first and foremost, that she didn’t infuse her films with a political agenda, thus proving that denial is more than just a river.
We do get a sense from the interviews that Riefenstahl does indeed have a genuine passion for filmmaking - there are some scenes that Muller filmed on the sly showing Riefenstahl bossing around the camera crew to make a specific shot better - and when Muller takes Riefenstahl and some of her old camera crew to some of the locations where she shot Olympia, she comes alive. She goes on about some of the creative ideas, things that didn’t work (attaching cameras to balloons and sending them aloft) and things that worked famously (digging a pit near some of the events to shoot athletes from very low angles).
Frustratingly, Muller doesn’t ask some really basic key questions, like "how did you feel about your fellow Jewish filmmakers being branded, blacklisted - and worse" or asking what *exactly* was her relationship with Hitler? Perhaps these are in the longer, 3 hour cut of the film, but here - man, to have been on Muller's crew at the time.
But even with those unasked questions and other flaws of the film, we still come away with a really good sense of a woman who hasn't quite come to grips with what she did. She's brilliant with this incredible gift for knowing how to edit a film, how to light a shot and where to place the camera for maximum effect, but astounding dumb (or perhaps just willfully blind) to everything going on around her.
THE DVD -
The DVD, released by Kino International, appears to be a straight transfer from their old VHS release. While the A/V quality is clear, it's kind of soft and fuzzy, understandable, considering the documentary was probably shot on 16mm film stock. It gets the job done, and really, we don't need a super sexy, crystal clear picture. The soundtrack is the original German with optional subtitles.
THE EXTRAS -
Nothing - not even a trailer. But then, honestly I can't think of anything else they could include that the documentary didn’t cover?
THE BOTTOM LINE -
Nobody would debate the fact that Leni Riefenstahl is a brilliant filmmaker and has a wonderful eye for editing - however, with great power (or ability) comes great reasonability. But I have to remember that I'm reviewing the documentary about her, not the filmmaker herself. To that end, The Wonderful, Horrible Life of Leni Riefenstahl is a brilliant, frank, insightful look into a Wonderful, Horrible artist.
Now, with the preface out of the way, let us turn our attention to Die Macht der Bilder: Leni Riefenstahl, otherwise known as The Wonderful, Horrible Life of Leni Riefenstahl.
I have to hand it to her; Leni Riefenstahl is a pretty amazing woman: scuba diving at the age of 90, Greenpeace activist, spending years of her life living in Africa with the Nubia tribe, avid mountain climber back in the day when women didn’t do that sort of thing. If not for an eight year period of her life, you'd say she's lived a full active existence that most of us would love to live. Of course the downside - the pink elephant in the room, if you will - was that she had Adolf Hitler on speed dial. No, seriously, she could call up The 'Dolf any time she wanted and chat.
Oh dear.
While it was Joseph Goebbels who ran the Reich Ministry of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda, Hitler saw one of Riefenstahl's early movies and became a huge fan (and, depending on if you believe the rumors - lover - but there's no evidence to support that claim). And so Hitler commissioned Riefenstahl to document the upcoming Nazi Party Congress in Nuremberg, an event that was largely staged for the benefit of her cameras. The end result - The Triumph of the Will. Her next project was Olympia, a documentary on the 1939 Berlin Olympiad, mainly celebrating the power and majesty of the human body. Together, those two (plus a couple more short films here and there) are considered to be the best documentaries* ever put to film. Gorgeously shot with lavish sets and staging, innovated camera techniques well ahead of their time, and deeply influential in the world of film. Hollywood still uses many of the techniques laid down by Riefenstahl to this day.
* The term documentary may not necessarily apply here. While all documentaries are constructed in a way to lead the viewer to the filmmakers way of thinking - and Triumph of the Will certainly fits that bill to a tee - the movie was also constructed from the ground up, with retakes and staged shots and with a level of behind-the-scenes clean up that a normal documentary wouldn’t get. Propaganda? Sure. Documentary? Not so much.
But no matter how you slice it, the subject matter is repugnant and she was best buds with The Most Evil Man Ever for 10 years - and that casts a long, long shadow. And so it falls to Ray Muller and his documentary to deconstruct the occasionally unwilling Leni Riefenstahl, unravel her history, hear her own words, dig deep into her pre and post Nazi career and - most importantly - pose the question can one make art without making a political statement? Is there a line that one can straddle of art versus morality? Can art exist in a vacuum separate from its context?
Despite Riefenstahl obviously well rehearsed answers (she's had 60+ years to practice, after all), Muller and his crew don't mess about. Muller remains objective and neutral, but he does throw the hard fast pitches from time to time. Riefenstahl maintains to this day (well, the 1993 'to this day') that she was never a member of the Nazi Party, that she was an artist first and foremost, that she didn’t infuse her films with a political agenda, thus proving that denial is more than just a river.
We do get a sense from the interviews that Riefenstahl does indeed have a genuine passion for filmmaking - there are some scenes that Muller filmed on the sly showing Riefenstahl bossing around the camera crew to make a specific shot better - and when Muller takes Riefenstahl and some of her old camera crew to some of the locations where she shot Olympia, she comes alive. She goes on about some of the creative ideas, things that didn’t work (attaching cameras to balloons and sending them aloft) and things that worked famously (digging a pit near some of the events to shoot athletes from very low angles).
Frustratingly, Muller doesn’t ask some really basic key questions, like "how did you feel about your fellow Jewish filmmakers being branded, blacklisted - and worse" or asking what *exactly* was her relationship with Hitler? Perhaps these are in the longer, 3 hour cut of the film, but here - man, to have been on Muller's crew at the time.
But even with those unasked questions and other flaws of the film, we still come away with a really good sense of a woman who hasn't quite come to grips with what she did. She's brilliant with this incredible gift for knowing how to edit a film, how to light a shot and where to place the camera for maximum effect, but astounding dumb (or perhaps just willfully blind) to everything going on around her.
THE DVD -
The DVD, released by Kino International, appears to be a straight transfer from their old VHS release. While the A/V quality is clear, it's kind of soft and fuzzy, understandable, considering the documentary was probably shot on 16mm film stock. It gets the job done, and really, we don't need a super sexy, crystal clear picture. The soundtrack is the original German with optional subtitles.
THE EXTRAS -
Nothing - not even a trailer. But then, honestly I can't think of anything else they could include that the documentary didn’t cover?
THE BOTTOM LINE -
Nobody would debate the fact that Leni Riefenstahl is a brilliant filmmaker and has a wonderful eye for editing - however, with great power (or ability) comes great reasonability. But I have to remember that I'm reviewing the documentary about her, not the filmmaker herself. To that end, The Wonderful, Horrible Life of Leni Riefenstahl is a brilliant, frank, insightful look into a Wonderful, Horrible artist.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
PIRANHA - A remake with plenty of bite
Oh, what a dilemma I had. I love Roger Corman flicks, I love horrible B-Movies, but I hate remakes - Hollywood seems unable to leave anything alone, recycling and regurgitating the past after totally sucking the soul out of it. But last summer, I found myself at Hollywood's Grauman's Chinese Theater, which was running the remake Piranha - how could I pass up a chance to watch schlock at one of the most famous movie houses in the world?
So me and my 75 year old mother (who loves these movies as much as I do, god bless her totally awesome heart) I ponyed up my 18 bucks, grabbed my popcorn and checked my brain at the door. While I still got the headache from that damned 3D effect, I was pleasantly surprised by the actual quality of the film. So when I found the DVD at my local mom-n-pop video store for 5 bucks, I could hardly pass it up!
Right off the bat, you know that Piranha respects its roots. We open with an old man in a rowboat, all alone in the vast wilderness and fishing on an isolated lake. Since this is the Curtain Puller Monster Attack, you know that this cant end well - but the kicker? It's Richard Dreyfuss, singing "Show me the way to go home" and drinking Amity Beer. Now THATS class! Anyway, there's underwater earthquake, the lakebed splits wide open, and thousands and thousands of tiny eating machines swarm out of the yawning abyss. Poor ol' Matt Hooper is devoured within seconds and the prehistoric piranha swarm throughout the lake.
Meanwhile, at the other end of Lake Victoria, Spring Break has descended upon the sleepy little town. Thousands of randy teens swarm the streets, the beaches and the waterways in a giant orgy of wet t-shirt contests and loud rock music. Town Sherriff Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue, still looking hawt 25 years later) and Deputy Fallon (Ving Rhames, fulfilling our Doomed Black Man roll quota for the movie) are the overworked authority figures who have to keep a handle on this wild party. Meanwhile, teenage youngster and social outcast Jake Forester (decendant of Steven McQueen - who isn’t nearly as talented as his Grandpappy) has been shanghaied by Sherriff Mom to keep an eye on his younger siblings (who are charmingly played by Sage Ryan and Brooklyn Proulx).
But Jake gets a better offer from sleazy video producer Derrick Jones (Jerry O’Connell, who apparently managed to slide into Bad Movie World), who is shooting the most recent installment of the “Wild, Wild, Girls” video series. Derrick needs a local to take him to all the best hot-spots on the lake. So Jake and his not-exactly girlfriend Kelly (Played by the blindingly hawt Jessica Szohr) hop aboard the Love Boat for some up close and person water sports. Lil Bother and Sister get stranded on an island, the Love Boat gets stuck in the middle of the lake, Sherriff Mom does her best to close the beaches and ten thousand little eating machines are heading right for the most happening hot-spots on Lake Victoria for a little dining out. . . .
Let me be completely upfront here. Piranha does EXACTLY what is says on the tin: a retro horror movie throwback with plenty of young and nubile tits, bad acting, cheesy writing, and sprays of kayo syrup and red food coloring. If you are one of those movie snobs that demands a solid scripting or intelligent dialogue, you might as well move onto another review - there are no such things for you here.
That said, Piranha is actually a pretty fun movie - note that I didn’t say GOOD movie, but fun. It's respectful of the original Joe Dante flick yet manages to make its own stamp on the proceedings. Director Alexandre Aja (the man behind High Tension and The Hills Have Eyes) clearly has a love of the old movie - while he mostly used CGI fish instead of puppets like they did in 1978, Aja opted to use as much practical effects work as he possibly could. CGI is sexy, but using amputees for stuntmen and having a well rounded make-up team makes the film much stronger. The beach party massacre where several hundred nubile and hunk teens are swiftly nibbled to death is one of the best, most visceral, batshit frantic scenes I've witnessed in a very, very long time.
I said the acting was crap - that's not entirely true. Aside from the Dreyfuss cameo, we get a bit part from Christopher Lloyd doing is best Doc Brown as the town resident fish expert. The best part (kids and cameos aside) has to be Jerry O'Connell. His hedonistic, womanizing, drug-using scumbag gets all the best lines ("My . . . penis! They ate my penis!"), totally hams it up and generally has a great time with a completely sleazy roll. Brilliant! Now granted, the script isn’t exactly a very demanding mistress, but the film would have suffered if the Old Guard thespians didn’t play it to the hilt.
Despite Roger Corman apparently not having anything to do with the remake (aside, probably, from receiving a huge check for the rights), Aja embraces the Corman ethic - interspersed with the lovely flow of red, we get plenty, and I mean PLEANTY of tits and ass to go around. Seriously, we get some full frontal swimming bits that I swear would have sent the MPAA censors into a tizzy.
It's not a perfect movie, mind you. After the amazingly frantic Beach Carnage scene, the movie moves on to its climax - but the energy to carry the action isn’t there. With Kelly trapped inside a sinking Love Boat, Sherriff Mom and the oceanography expert on site to investigate the earthquake throw a rope over to the doomed vessel, before crawling over, talking about the dilemma WAAAAY too much and then sending everyone back to the speedboat all at once. While there's plenty of Piranha Chomping to go around (Including O'Connell's last hilarious words), there's no sense of tension like at the end of Jaws and the "Smile you sunuvabitch" moment. Its okay I guess - but based on what had come before, it should have really grabbed my balls and twisted!
And a couple of minor points both good and bad. I'm kind of shocked that they didn’t play the Authority Figure Insisting on Keeping the Beaches Open Because The Regatta is The Life Blood of the Town card. There's one token mention on how the spring break dollars keep the town alive during the off season, but there's no Mayor Vaughn to hammer the point home. Bravo for not following the Jaws connect-the-dots to the letter! On the other side of the coin- where the hell did Local Jerk Rival Love Interest go? The script seemed to be setting him up as a supreme jerk that gets his comeuppance at the feeding frenzy, but he just falls off the map 3/4th into the movie. It can be safely assumed he was eaten by the piranha but it's weird we never see his fate, considering all the other victims on that same boat get very graphic and obvious deaths.
At the end of the day, what you take away from Piranha will depend on how much you like these type of movies. If dark comedic horror isn’t your bag, Piranha won't convince you. However if you grock the drive-in B-Movie vibe, Piranha will rock. It's pure schlock, completely camp, and utterly trashy. It's a flick that knows it's cheesy, ridiculous, and pretty much there so we can see scantily clad teenagers get killed in horrible and bloody ways - and revels in that fact. It doesn't pretend to be something that it's not, focusing on doing what it does in as fun a way as possible.
Roger Corman would have loved it.
THE DVD -
Right out of the gate, Piranha is a vast improvement from the theatrical experience. They ditched that crappy, horrible headache inducing 3D effect - a huge plus - and pumped up the color palate. The underwater shots are murky, but that's probably on purpose. Otherwise, the skin tones (and there is a LOT of skin) are amazing, the sky is nice and blue, the blood is a solid red that doesn’t bleed (color, I mean) and the blacks are solid - this thing really looks good. Meanwhile the dolby digital 5.1 surround sound has a good balance. The music and effects don't overpower the dialogue.
THE EXTRAS -
Shockingly, we get a five part documentary, with each section running about 20 minuets, give or take. Yes, the behind-the-scenes documentary runs longer than the actual movie that it's documenting! It covers the cast and the story, the location, putting together the spring break sequences, the blood and gore effects and the CGI special effects. While it drags a bit here and there, this thing is really amazingly comprehensive!
Following that behemoth, we get an audio commentary from writer/director/producer
Alexandre Aja along with producers Gregory Lavasseur Alix Taylor. It's a tough commentary at first, since the accents can get thick at times, but once you get used to their way of talking, it's actually really informative. They, like me, were shocked that the full-on nudity of the underwater scenes made it past the MPAA without any cuts. They were also pissed at how the trailer totally spoiled the end of the movie - true.
Oh, speaking of trailers - where the hell is the Piranha trailer? We get a passel of the latest shit to come out of Hollywood: the crappy 4th Resident Evil flick, Game of Death (not the really awesome Bruce Lee one, but a really crappy generic Hollywood action flick), Sniper: Reloaded (another generic looking action flick. When Billy Zane is your biggest named star, your movie is in trouble!), Ticking Clock, and some lame flick about a guy named Matt losing his virginity on youtube (Christ, take me now!) that I couldn’t be bothered to sit all the way through. So we get ALL that, but no Piranha trailer? Where is the justice in the world?
THE BOTTOM LINE -
Let us be absolutely, perfectly clear on this matter: Piranha is a horrible, dreadful, movie. However it is, hands down, the BEST horrible, dreadful, movie to come along in a very long while.
So me and my 75 year old mother (who loves these movies as much as I do, god bless her totally awesome heart) I ponyed up my 18 bucks, grabbed my popcorn and checked my brain at the door. While I still got the headache from that damned 3D effect, I was pleasantly surprised by the actual quality of the film. So when I found the DVD at my local mom-n-pop video store for 5 bucks, I could hardly pass it up!
Right off the bat, you know that Piranha respects its roots. We open with an old man in a rowboat, all alone in the vast wilderness and fishing on an isolated lake. Since this is the Curtain Puller Monster Attack, you know that this cant end well - but the kicker? It's Richard Dreyfuss, singing "Show me the way to go home" and drinking Amity Beer. Now THATS class! Anyway, there's underwater earthquake, the lakebed splits wide open, and thousands and thousands of tiny eating machines swarm out of the yawning abyss. Poor ol' Matt Hooper is devoured within seconds and the prehistoric piranha swarm throughout the lake.
Meanwhile, at the other end of Lake Victoria, Spring Break has descended upon the sleepy little town. Thousands of randy teens swarm the streets, the beaches and the waterways in a giant orgy of wet t-shirt contests and loud rock music. Town Sherriff Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue, still looking hawt 25 years later) and Deputy Fallon (Ving Rhames, fulfilling our Doomed Black Man roll quota for the movie) are the overworked authority figures who have to keep a handle on this wild party. Meanwhile, teenage youngster and social outcast Jake Forester (decendant of Steven McQueen - who isn’t nearly as talented as his Grandpappy) has been shanghaied by Sherriff Mom to keep an eye on his younger siblings (who are charmingly played by Sage Ryan and Brooklyn Proulx).
But Jake gets a better offer from sleazy video producer Derrick Jones (Jerry O’Connell, who apparently managed to slide into Bad Movie World), who is shooting the most recent installment of the “Wild, Wild, Girls” video series. Derrick needs a local to take him to all the best hot-spots on the lake. So Jake and his not-exactly girlfriend Kelly (Played by the blindingly hawt Jessica Szohr) hop aboard the Love Boat for some up close and person water sports. Lil Bother and Sister get stranded on an island, the Love Boat gets stuck in the middle of the lake, Sherriff Mom does her best to close the beaches and ten thousand little eating machines are heading right for the most happening hot-spots on Lake Victoria for a little dining out. . . .
Let me be completely upfront here. Piranha does EXACTLY what is says on the tin: a retro horror movie throwback with plenty of young and nubile tits, bad acting, cheesy writing, and sprays of kayo syrup and red food coloring. If you are one of those movie snobs that demands a solid scripting or intelligent dialogue, you might as well move onto another review - there are no such things for you here.
That said, Piranha is actually a pretty fun movie - note that I didn’t say GOOD movie, but fun. It's respectful of the original Joe Dante flick yet manages to make its own stamp on the proceedings. Director Alexandre Aja (the man behind High Tension and The Hills Have Eyes) clearly has a love of the old movie - while he mostly used CGI fish instead of puppets like they did in 1978, Aja opted to use as much practical effects work as he possibly could. CGI is sexy, but using amputees for stuntmen and having a well rounded make-up team makes the film much stronger. The beach party massacre where several hundred nubile and hunk teens are swiftly nibbled to death is one of the best, most visceral, batshit frantic scenes I've witnessed in a very, very long time.
I said the acting was crap - that's not entirely true. Aside from the Dreyfuss cameo, we get a bit part from Christopher Lloyd doing is best Doc Brown as the town resident fish expert. The best part (kids and cameos aside) has to be Jerry O'Connell. His hedonistic, womanizing, drug-using scumbag gets all the best lines ("My . . . penis! They ate my penis!"), totally hams it up and generally has a great time with a completely sleazy roll. Brilliant! Now granted, the script isn’t exactly a very demanding mistress, but the film would have suffered if the Old Guard thespians didn’t play it to the hilt.
Despite Roger Corman apparently not having anything to do with the remake (aside, probably, from receiving a huge check for the rights), Aja embraces the Corman ethic - interspersed with the lovely flow of red, we get plenty, and I mean PLEANTY of tits and ass to go around. Seriously, we get some full frontal swimming bits that I swear would have sent the MPAA censors into a tizzy.
It's not a perfect movie, mind you. After the amazingly frantic Beach Carnage scene, the movie moves on to its climax - but the energy to carry the action isn’t there. With Kelly trapped inside a sinking Love Boat, Sherriff Mom and the oceanography expert on site to investigate the earthquake throw a rope over to the doomed vessel, before crawling over, talking about the dilemma WAAAAY too much and then sending everyone back to the speedboat all at once. While there's plenty of Piranha Chomping to go around (Including O'Connell's last hilarious words), there's no sense of tension like at the end of Jaws and the "Smile you sunuvabitch" moment. Its okay I guess - but based on what had come before, it should have really grabbed my balls and twisted!
And a couple of minor points both good and bad. I'm kind of shocked that they didn’t play the Authority Figure Insisting on Keeping the Beaches Open Because The Regatta is The Life Blood of the Town card. There's one token mention on how the spring break dollars keep the town alive during the off season, but there's no Mayor Vaughn to hammer the point home. Bravo for not following the Jaws connect-the-dots to the letter! On the other side of the coin- where the hell did Local Jerk Rival Love Interest go? The script seemed to be setting him up as a supreme jerk that gets his comeuppance at the feeding frenzy, but he just falls off the map 3/4th into the movie. It can be safely assumed he was eaten by the piranha but it's weird we never see his fate, considering all the other victims on that same boat get very graphic and obvious deaths.
At the end of the day, what you take away from Piranha will depend on how much you like these type of movies. If dark comedic horror isn’t your bag, Piranha won't convince you. However if you grock the drive-in B-Movie vibe, Piranha will rock. It's pure schlock, completely camp, and utterly trashy. It's a flick that knows it's cheesy, ridiculous, and pretty much there so we can see scantily clad teenagers get killed in horrible and bloody ways - and revels in that fact. It doesn't pretend to be something that it's not, focusing on doing what it does in as fun a way as possible.
Roger Corman would have loved it.
THE DVD -
Right out of the gate, Piranha is a vast improvement from the theatrical experience. They ditched that crappy, horrible headache inducing 3D effect - a huge plus - and pumped up the color palate. The underwater shots are murky, but that's probably on purpose. Otherwise, the skin tones (and there is a LOT of skin) are amazing, the sky is nice and blue, the blood is a solid red that doesn’t bleed (color, I mean) and the blacks are solid - this thing really looks good. Meanwhile the dolby digital 5.1 surround sound has a good balance. The music and effects don't overpower the dialogue.
THE EXTRAS -
Shockingly, we get a five part documentary, with each section running about 20 minuets, give or take. Yes, the behind-the-scenes documentary runs longer than the actual movie that it's documenting! It covers the cast and the story, the location, putting together the spring break sequences, the blood and gore effects and the CGI special effects. While it drags a bit here and there, this thing is really amazingly comprehensive!
Following that behemoth, we get an audio commentary from writer/director/producer
Alexandre Aja along with producers Gregory Lavasseur Alix Taylor. It's a tough commentary at first, since the accents can get thick at times, but once you get used to their way of talking, it's actually really informative. They, like me, were shocked that the full-on nudity of the underwater scenes made it past the MPAA without any cuts. They were also pissed at how the trailer totally spoiled the end of the movie - true.
Oh, speaking of trailers - where the hell is the Piranha trailer? We get a passel of the latest shit to come out of Hollywood: the crappy 4th Resident Evil flick, Game of Death (not the really awesome Bruce Lee one, but a really crappy generic Hollywood action flick), Sniper: Reloaded (another generic looking action flick. When Billy Zane is your biggest named star, your movie is in trouble!), Ticking Clock, and some lame flick about a guy named Matt losing his virginity on youtube (Christ, take me now!) that I couldn’t be bothered to sit all the way through. So we get ALL that, but no Piranha trailer? Where is the justice in the world?
THE BOTTOM LINE -
Let us be absolutely, perfectly clear on this matter: Piranha is a horrible, dreadful, movie. However it is, hands down, the BEST horrible, dreadful, movie to come along in a very long while.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
FIVE DEADLY VENOMS - I need no antidote!
While I remember Shaw Brothers kung fu flicks from my childhood on the local UHF station on Sunday afternoons, I was never really well versed in their flicks. Oh, sure - I know the name and I've seen some of the Big Name Flicks, but generally I couldn’t pick Run-Run or Rumie Shaw out of a lineup if my life depended on it. Fortunately Dragon Dynasty has my back, with a constant flow of Shaw flicks on DVD! This time, 1978's Wu du - otherwise known as the Five Deadly Venoms.
We open with a dying Kung Fu Master - who, shockingly was not assassinated by a rival clan - who tells Yang Tieh, his last remaining student, to seek out his five previous disciples, who are currently converging on a nearby city to find the clan's lost treasure. The Master fears that their Kung Fu - inspired by a different venomous animal - might be used for evil.
Unfortunately for Yang Tieh, there are two problems. 1) While he knows all five martial arts styles, he is master of none - each of these disciples are more than a match for him, and B) each of the venoms trained in masks, so he has no descriptions of the other disciples other than their fighting styles. And so much Kung Fu ensues as Yang Tieh uncovers that some of the students have indeed turned to evil. Can Yang Tieh combine the styles of all five Kung Fu disciplines to stop these thugs and to bring honor to his late master?
Lets be perfectly honest here - the story in a Kung Fu flick is much like a story in a porn flick, the most basic of frameworks to get from one Money Shot to another (or in this case, from one Kung Fu battle to another). We don't buy these things for the in-depth character development, the acting or the historically accurate settings. That said, Five Deadly Venoms must be praised for avoiding the whole "You killed my master, now I must take revenge on you after this training montage" chestnut. Sure the story is kind of goofy if you apply any thought to it, but at least its new territory!
The characters are pretty well done too - well, relatively speaking. They actually have personality beyond their designated Kung Fu styles. The villain of the piece, well he's not deep, but there's a bit more to him than just a mustache twirling heavy. The leads seem to have good chemistry and energy.
Yeah, yeah - who cares about all that? I'm just here for the Godzilla!
If all you care about are people kicking each other's ass, then good news! You're in luck - director Cheh Chang, mastermind behind a dozen of Kung Fu flicks like The Flag of Iron, Five Element Ninja, Invincible Shaolin, and Crippled Avengers - brings the goods in spades! There's blood a plenty, the setup for the individual styles pay off at the five-way battle at the end when it's a clusterfunk of arms and legs, the choreography doesn’t look staged at all and the fighters are silky smooth. While it's not Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan, it's still very good, very entertaining stuff.
THE DVD -
While Hong Kong flicks are notoriously diabolical in their A/V quality, we get none of that here. It looks like Celestial Pictures either restored the heck out of the print or they found a pristine print in their basement - because this thing looks great. We get a widescreen anamorphic print where the colors are rich, the blacks are strong and there's little print damage that I could see. As far as audio goes, we get two mono tracks, the original Chinese (mandarin, I think) and the English dub that you'd remember from the UHF days. Cheesy? Sure - but nostalgically fun too.
THE EXTRAS -
All we get is a couple of trailers before the front end menus (you can't even access them from the main screen? What’s up with that!) and an audio commentary from long running martial arts movie expert Bey Logan. Bey’s commentary is up to his typically high standard - informative, entertaining and full of Kung Fu trivia. In short, he's always a pleasure to listen to.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
While the Shaw Brothers may not be the best Kung Fu studio in hong kong, their chopsockie is still some first rate stuff. While I think that Chinese Super Ninja is still their best work, Five Deadly Venoms is still some outstanding, first rate schlock!
We open with a dying Kung Fu Master - who, shockingly was not assassinated by a rival clan - who tells Yang Tieh, his last remaining student, to seek out his five previous disciples, who are currently converging on a nearby city to find the clan's lost treasure. The Master fears that their Kung Fu - inspired by a different venomous animal - might be used for evil.
Unfortunately for Yang Tieh, there are two problems. 1) While he knows all five martial arts styles, he is master of none - each of these disciples are more than a match for him, and B) each of the venoms trained in masks, so he has no descriptions of the other disciples other than their fighting styles. And so much Kung Fu ensues as Yang Tieh uncovers that some of the students have indeed turned to evil. Can Yang Tieh combine the styles of all five Kung Fu disciplines to stop these thugs and to bring honor to his late master?
Lets be perfectly honest here - the story in a Kung Fu flick is much like a story in a porn flick, the most basic of frameworks to get from one Money Shot to another (or in this case, from one Kung Fu battle to another). We don't buy these things for the in-depth character development, the acting or the historically accurate settings. That said, Five Deadly Venoms must be praised for avoiding the whole "You killed my master, now I must take revenge on you after this training montage" chestnut. Sure the story is kind of goofy if you apply any thought to it, but at least its new territory!
The characters are pretty well done too - well, relatively speaking. They actually have personality beyond their designated Kung Fu styles. The villain of the piece, well he's not deep, but there's a bit more to him than just a mustache twirling heavy. The leads seem to have good chemistry and energy.
Yeah, yeah - who cares about all that? I'm just here for the Godzilla!
If all you care about are people kicking each other's ass, then good news! You're in luck - director Cheh Chang, mastermind behind a dozen of Kung Fu flicks like The Flag of Iron, Five Element Ninja, Invincible Shaolin, and Crippled Avengers - brings the goods in spades! There's blood a plenty, the setup for the individual styles pay off at the five-way battle at the end when it's a clusterfunk of arms and legs, the choreography doesn’t look staged at all and the fighters are silky smooth. While it's not Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan, it's still very good, very entertaining stuff.
THE DVD -
While Hong Kong flicks are notoriously diabolical in their A/V quality, we get none of that here. It looks like Celestial Pictures either restored the heck out of the print or they found a pristine print in their basement - because this thing looks great. We get a widescreen anamorphic print where the colors are rich, the blacks are strong and there's little print damage that I could see. As far as audio goes, we get two mono tracks, the original Chinese (mandarin, I think) and the English dub that you'd remember from the UHF days. Cheesy? Sure - but nostalgically fun too.
THE EXTRAS -
All we get is a couple of trailers before the front end menus (you can't even access them from the main screen? What’s up with that!) and an audio commentary from long running martial arts movie expert Bey Logan. Bey’s commentary is up to his typically high standard - informative, entertaining and full of Kung Fu trivia. In short, he's always a pleasure to listen to.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
While the Shaw Brothers may not be the best Kung Fu studio in hong kong, their chopsockie is still some first rate stuff. While I think that Chinese Super Ninja is still their best work, Five Deadly Venoms is still some outstanding, first rate schlock!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
UP FROM THE DEPTHS / DEMON OF PARADISE - no bite whatsoever
You know, I'm not sure which genre Roger Corman ripped off more: shameless Alien knock-offs (Forbidden World, Galaxy of Terror, plus a couple more who's name eludes me) or shameless Jaws knock-offs (Humanoids From The Deep, Piranha, Piranha 2: The Spawning). Shockingly, Roger didn’t go to the Star Wars well all that often, beyond Starcrash and Battle Beyond the Stars (which was more a Magnificent Seven rip-off than anything). Today's examples of shameless rip-offs add another couple of ticks in the Jaws column: Up From The Depths and Demon of Paradise.
In 1979's Up From The Depths, a prehistoric aquatic monster awakes from its long slumber and begins terrorizing the nearby human population. Said population exists in and around a tropic island resort (in this case, the "Hawaiian Archipelago"), consisting of abused staff, a resort owner who refuse to acknowledge the monster problem for fear of driving away guests, a supermodel and her photographer on assignment to show off her boobs as much as possible, a bickering married couple and some colorful local natives. Eventually convinced of a problem, the local sheriff, a reporter and a scientist (who wants the beast captured instead of killed) set out to do battle with the creature from the deep.
The problem with Up From The Depths is that we never see the monster. While I'm all for the Spielberg "The Shark is Still Working" school of filmmaking, where Less Monster is More (mostly due to technical constraints), he did eventually show us Bruce in all his rubber monster glory. In the meantime we got fins, barrels on harpoons, menacing shadows, and fleeting glimpses of something horrible when people are attacked. In Up From The Depths we don't even get that. The violence consists of super close up underwater shots of something shaking while red food coloring floats about. The monster is only in the movie for - seriously - about 3 minutes running time total and full on glimpses of the beast are counted in seconds.
What does that mean? That means the running time is made up with a whole boatload of characters that you don't care about, that are mostly featureless aside from their one defining trait (the Hen-Pecked Husband from the Bickering Couple wants to get away from his Shrew Wife, the Japanese Guy stomps around waving his katana while wearing a kamikaze headband and Sumo Pants, the Gay Resort Owner is faaaAAAA-bulous, the Stoic Loner Fisherman is Stoic and so on). When the body-count starts to pile up, none of these walking stereotypes will register on your radar.
(Although I do have to admit that the Panic On The Beach scene after the Monster makes his big appearance was kind of funny in a very stupid way. There's the typical Scramble To Get Out of The Water Before Being Eaten scene that these movies always sport and then everyone continues to panic, running around in a stampede on the beach - which goes on for several minutes. Um, you people do realize that once you're out of the water, there's no need to panic and that the aquatic monster can't get you there, right? Well aside from Crowd Stampede scenes on land are easier and cheaper to shoot than Panic in the Water, and they needed to pad out the running time)
Meanwhile over in 1987's Demon of Paradise, a prehistoric aquatic monster awakes from its long slumber and begins terrorizing the nearby human population. Said population exists in and around a tropic island resort (in this case, the "The South Seas"), consisting of abused staff, a resort owner who refuse to acknowledge the monster problem for fear of driving away guests, a supermodel and her photographer on assignment to show off her boobs as much as possible, a bickering married couple and some colorful local natives. Eventually convinced of a problem, the local sheriff, a reporter and a scientist (who wants the beast captured instead of killed) set out to do battle with the creature from the deep.
"Now wait a second", I hear you say. "That's the EXACT same description that you had for Up From The Depths! I call shenanigans!" No, I'm totally serious. Aside from the killer aquatic beast being more of a Creature From The Black Lagoon more than Bruce the Killer Shark, the two movies are more or less identical, right down to the Supermodel on a photo shoot subplot!
Demon of Paradise is better than Up From The Depths, but only marginally so. While there's more way more Monster-On-Human action than Up From The Depths, there's so much boring People Talking bits leading up to the action, you'll find yourself nodding off. When the monster does show up, he's a cross between The Creature and Bob Marley and looks ridiculous. And I mean ridiculous by B-monster movie standards. 30 years of Rubber Suit technology since Creature From The Black Lagoon and this is the best we can get - even on a low budget flick?
I can't really get too mad at Roger for these flicks - he didn’t have a hand in their production. New World Productions purchased these two stinkers from overseas, slapped his name on the opening credits, came up with some salacious poster artwork to draw 'em into the Drive-Ins and released the things on the cheap. Still, the blood of the innocent (or at least the last four hours of my life) is on your hands, Corman!
THE DVD -
While the movies may stink, I have to hand it to Shout! Factory for releasing some top notch DVDs! We get widescreen anamorphic prints that look pretty clean - more or less. There are scratches and dust in places (mostly around the reel changes), but the colors are good and the blacks - of which there are a lot of - are solid. The sound is a 5.1 Dolby Digital mix which sounds clean, although In Up from The Depths the music sometimes overpowers the dialog in places.
THE EXTRAS -
We get way more than these movies deserve. Both come with their original theatrical trailers (which look WAY more fun than what we actually get. I want to see those movies instead!) and Up From The Depths gets a couple of television and radio spots too.
There's a brief documentary, running about 10 minuets with Roger Corman and special effects guy Chris Walas, who goes on about how he built the monster pretty much out of driftwood and happy thoughts. Lastly we get a handful of trailers for other Roger Corman flicks: Firecracker, the much, much better Humanoids from the Deep, Jackson County Jail (which looks like a really good drama) and Caged Heat.
Also, Shout! has included the Roger Corman Experience, where with one push of a button, you get some "Coming to our theater" bumpers, two trailers, a movie, two more trailers and the second movie, all in a row. It's fun if a bit cheesy.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
There are three types of Roger Corman flicks:
* Legitimately good (relatively speaking) movies - Death Race 2000, Piranha, Suburbia
* Cheesy and stupid but still loads of fun - Starcrash, Galaxy of Terror, Rock n Roll High School
* Movies that are a chore to get through - Battletruck and Deathsport
To that last category, you can add Up from the Depths and Demon of Paradise. Rent it once and then never speak of them again.
In 1979's Up From The Depths, a prehistoric aquatic monster awakes from its long slumber and begins terrorizing the nearby human population. Said population exists in and around a tropic island resort (in this case, the "Hawaiian Archipelago"), consisting of abused staff, a resort owner who refuse to acknowledge the monster problem for fear of driving away guests, a supermodel and her photographer on assignment to show off her boobs as much as possible, a bickering married couple and some colorful local natives. Eventually convinced of a problem, the local sheriff, a reporter and a scientist (who wants the beast captured instead of killed) set out to do battle with the creature from the deep.
The problem with Up From The Depths is that we never see the monster. While I'm all for the Spielberg "The Shark is Still Working" school of filmmaking, where Less Monster is More (mostly due to technical constraints), he did eventually show us Bruce in all his rubber monster glory. In the meantime we got fins, barrels on harpoons, menacing shadows, and fleeting glimpses of something horrible when people are attacked. In Up From The Depths we don't even get that. The violence consists of super close up underwater shots of something shaking while red food coloring floats about. The monster is only in the movie for - seriously - about 3 minutes running time total and full on glimpses of the beast are counted in seconds.
What does that mean? That means the running time is made up with a whole boatload of characters that you don't care about, that are mostly featureless aside from their one defining trait (the Hen-Pecked Husband from the Bickering Couple wants to get away from his Shrew Wife, the Japanese Guy stomps around waving his katana while wearing a kamikaze headband and Sumo Pants, the Gay Resort Owner is faaaAAAA-bulous, the Stoic Loner Fisherman is Stoic and so on). When the body-count starts to pile up, none of these walking stereotypes will register on your radar.
(Although I do have to admit that the Panic On The Beach scene after the Monster makes his big appearance was kind of funny in a very stupid way. There's the typical Scramble To Get Out of The Water Before Being Eaten scene that these movies always sport and then everyone continues to panic, running around in a stampede on the beach - which goes on for several minutes. Um, you people do realize that once you're out of the water, there's no need to panic and that the aquatic monster can't get you there, right? Well aside from Crowd Stampede scenes on land are easier and cheaper to shoot than Panic in the Water, and they needed to pad out the running time)
Meanwhile over in 1987's Demon of Paradise, a prehistoric aquatic monster awakes from its long slumber and begins terrorizing the nearby human population. Said population exists in and around a tropic island resort (in this case, the "The South Seas"), consisting of abused staff, a resort owner who refuse to acknowledge the monster problem for fear of driving away guests, a supermodel and her photographer on assignment to show off her boobs as much as possible, a bickering married couple and some colorful local natives. Eventually convinced of a problem, the local sheriff, a reporter and a scientist (who wants the beast captured instead of killed) set out to do battle with the creature from the deep.
"Now wait a second", I hear you say. "That's the EXACT same description that you had for Up From The Depths! I call shenanigans!" No, I'm totally serious. Aside from the killer aquatic beast being more of a Creature From The Black Lagoon more than Bruce the Killer Shark, the two movies are more or less identical, right down to the Supermodel on a photo shoot subplot!
Demon of Paradise is better than Up From The Depths, but only marginally so. While there's more way more Monster-On-Human action than Up From The Depths, there's so much boring People Talking bits leading up to the action, you'll find yourself nodding off. When the monster does show up, he's a cross between The Creature and Bob Marley and looks ridiculous. And I mean ridiculous by B-monster movie standards. 30 years of Rubber Suit technology since Creature From The Black Lagoon and this is the best we can get - even on a low budget flick?
I can't really get too mad at Roger for these flicks - he didn’t have a hand in their production. New World Productions purchased these two stinkers from overseas, slapped his name on the opening credits, came up with some salacious poster artwork to draw 'em into the Drive-Ins and released the things on the cheap. Still, the blood of the innocent (or at least the last four hours of my life) is on your hands, Corman!
THE DVD -
While the movies may stink, I have to hand it to Shout! Factory for releasing some top notch DVDs! We get widescreen anamorphic prints that look pretty clean - more or less. There are scratches and dust in places (mostly around the reel changes), but the colors are good and the blacks - of which there are a lot of - are solid. The sound is a 5.1 Dolby Digital mix which sounds clean, although In Up from The Depths the music sometimes overpowers the dialog in places.
THE EXTRAS -
We get way more than these movies deserve. Both come with their original theatrical trailers (which look WAY more fun than what we actually get. I want to see those movies instead!) and Up From The Depths gets a couple of television and radio spots too.
There's a brief documentary, running about 10 minuets with Roger Corman and special effects guy Chris Walas, who goes on about how he built the monster pretty much out of driftwood and happy thoughts. Lastly we get a handful of trailers for other Roger Corman flicks: Firecracker, the much, much better Humanoids from the Deep, Jackson County Jail (which looks like a really good drama) and Caged Heat.
Also, Shout! has included the Roger Corman Experience, where with one push of a button, you get some "Coming to our theater" bumpers, two trailers, a movie, two more trailers and the second movie, all in a row. It's fun if a bit cheesy.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
There are three types of Roger Corman flicks:
* Legitimately good (relatively speaking) movies - Death Race 2000, Piranha, Suburbia
* Cheesy and stupid but still loads of fun - Starcrash, Galaxy of Terror, Rock n Roll High School
* Movies that are a chore to get through - Battletruck and Deathsport
To that last category, you can add Up from the Depths and Demon of Paradise. Rent it once and then never speak of them again.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
DIRTY PAIR: PROJECT EDEN - you'll have a blast (really!)
I've been a long time anime fan, going all the way back to Speed Racer in the sixties (well, I caught it in reruns in the early seventies - I'm not quite THAT old yet), Star Blazers in the late seventies, Robotech in the early eighties - so I have a soft spot for old school anime like this. There's been dribs and drabs of Dirty Pair (and it's sister series, Crusher Joe) released in America, but this is the first time we get a release of one of the better Elder Statesmen of Anime.
Dirty Pair? What's that - let me quickly explain. The year is the twenty-second century and humanity has spread across the sea of stars and the World Welfare Works Association (also known as the WWWA or 3WA) assists member systems of the United Galactica federation deal with various problems and situations that normal police or security forces find themselves unable to handle.
This is where Kei and Yuri come in - a team of troubleshooters codenamed Lovely Angels. Highly skilled, very competent and downright sexy, the Lovely Angels have another name, one that's a little less flattering - The Dirty Pair - thanks to their reputation for leaving a wide trail of destruction behind them wherever they go.
This time, Kei and Yuri are tasked to investigate the planet Argerna, a major source of Vizurium, an element essential in warp drives. The production and refining facilities are being sabotaged and the Vizurium output is dropping dramatically. During their investigations (and between occasional baths) the two cross paths with Carson D. Carson, professional thief and all around letch. After adventures with guns, handcuffs and towels just barley covering nubile bodies, the trio run afoul of Doctor Wattsman, the mad scientist behind everything that's going on.
Using his vast Mad Scientist intellect, Doctor Wattsman is hard at work unraveling the genetic code of the fossilized creatures that make up the Vizorium (think Dinosaurs and Petroilum), attempting to make them the next evolutionary step in the human race. Can the Dirty Pair (plus one) stop Doctor Wattsman before his mad schemes come to a head - and will anything be left of the planet afterwards?
Coming from 1987, the animation style is a bit rougher than what you get in your modern anime series, but it's still pretty fluid and smooth. And Project Eden comes to use before the dawn of CGI animation running anime left right and center - we get nothing but ink and paint here. That right there is a huge plus in my book.
The plot is a bit - well, shall we say simplistic and disjointed. There's a strong opening that's very reminiscent of a classic James Bond flick but once the pair get to Argerna, the story starts to wander and stutter with some random fan-service moments. Still once we get past the middle bits, the show picks up again for the climax. Plus you can spend time picking out all the intentional tropes and homage's to other science fiction franchises and other anime series.
THE DVD -
Being such an old feature, I was shocked how good this thing looked! There's the occasional scratch here and there, but the colors look great and the print is solid. As an added bonus, ADV gives us the original 1.85:1 ratio anamorphic widescreen. We get a Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo English dub or the original Japanese soundtrack with English optional subtitles. While I went with the Japanese language track, the American dub was actually pretty good. I could sit through it without cringing or running from the room.
THE EXTRAS -
We get the original theatrical trailer for Project Eden, and a bunch of ADV trailers - Blue Seed Beyond, Dirty Pair: Flight 0005 Conspiracy , King of Bandit Jing, RahXephon, Angelic Layer and City Hunter Season 2 (A wicked cool series if you've never seen it!) The only other item in the package is a 1 page leaflet with a list of chapter stops on it.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
It's a bit goofy, and more than a bit gratuitous with the sexy, but Project Eden (and Dirty Pair as a whole) is a whole lot of fun. If you're not put off by the mid eighties primitive-ish animation, you'll probably have a blast. (Wait - with Kei and Yuri on the job, you're sure to get blasted!)
Dirty Pair? What's that - let me quickly explain. The year is the twenty-second century and humanity has spread across the sea of stars and the World Welfare Works Association (also known as the WWWA or 3WA) assists member systems of the United Galactica federation deal with various problems and situations that normal police or security forces find themselves unable to handle.
This is where Kei and Yuri come in - a team of troubleshooters codenamed Lovely Angels. Highly skilled, very competent and downright sexy, the Lovely Angels have another name, one that's a little less flattering - The Dirty Pair - thanks to their reputation for leaving a wide trail of destruction behind them wherever they go.
This time, Kei and Yuri are tasked to investigate the planet Argerna, a major source of Vizurium, an element essential in warp drives. The production and refining facilities are being sabotaged and the Vizurium output is dropping dramatically. During their investigations (and between occasional baths) the two cross paths with Carson D. Carson, professional thief and all around letch. After adventures with guns, handcuffs and towels just barley covering nubile bodies, the trio run afoul of Doctor Wattsman, the mad scientist behind everything that's going on.
Using his vast Mad Scientist intellect, Doctor Wattsman is hard at work unraveling the genetic code of the fossilized creatures that make up the Vizorium (think Dinosaurs and Petroilum), attempting to make them the next evolutionary step in the human race. Can the Dirty Pair (plus one) stop Doctor Wattsman before his mad schemes come to a head - and will anything be left of the planet afterwards?
Coming from 1987, the animation style is a bit rougher than what you get in your modern anime series, but it's still pretty fluid and smooth. And Project Eden comes to use before the dawn of CGI animation running anime left right and center - we get nothing but ink and paint here. That right there is a huge plus in my book.
The plot is a bit - well, shall we say simplistic and disjointed. There's a strong opening that's very reminiscent of a classic James Bond flick but once the pair get to Argerna, the story starts to wander and stutter with some random fan-service moments. Still once we get past the middle bits, the show picks up again for the climax. Plus you can spend time picking out all the intentional tropes and homage's to other science fiction franchises and other anime series.
THE DVD -
Being such an old feature, I was shocked how good this thing looked! There's the occasional scratch here and there, but the colors look great and the print is solid. As an added bonus, ADV gives us the original 1.85:1 ratio anamorphic widescreen. We get a Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo English dub or the original Japanese soundtrack with English optional subtitles. While I went with the Japanese language track, the American dub was actually pretty good. I could sit through it without cringing or running from the room.
THE EXTRAS -
We get the original theatrical trailer for Project Eden, and a bunch of ADV trailers - Blue Seed Beyond, Dirty Pair: Flight 0005 Conspiracy , King of Bandit Jing, RahXephon, Angelic Layer and City Hunter Season 2 (A wicked cool series if you've never seen it!) The only other item in the package is a 1 page leaflet with a list of chapter stops on it.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
It's a bit goofy, and more than a bit gratuitous with the sexy, but Project Eden (and Dirty Pair as a whole) is a whole lot of fun. If you're not put off by the mid eighties primitive-ish animation, you'll probably have a blast. (Wait - with Kei and Yuri on the job, you're sure to get blasted!)
Monday, March 31, 2008
ALL MONSTERS ATTACK - "Rarrgh!"
SEE - astounding beasts walk the Earth!
THRILL - at sights never before seen by man!
Overwhelming!
Stunning!
Baffling!
CAN YOUR HEART STAND THIS MUCH TERROR?
I loves me them trailers! And how could you not? A trailer (in theory) takes all the good stuff - in this case, all the monster bits - and trim away all the fluff and fat - in this case, the endless People Talking scenes, tepid romance and the completely illogical science. While this may be counter intuitive when you get suckered into watching a dreadful movie on the basis of a cool trailer, if you have a disc full of nothing but this coolness, you cant help but win.
That's what we have here - All Day Entertainment following up their Horror of Hammer (a disc devoted to all those gothic horror classics from Hammer Studios), Tales of Frankenstein (odds and sods from Frankenstein flicks over the years) and The Pulp Cinema Trailer Collection (hard boiled Edward G. Robinson crime and detective trailers) releases with All Monsters Attack. Instead of horror or film noir, we get some of the best classic monster movies from the fifties and sixties.
As with the 42nd Street Forever series, there are way too many trailers to get into one-by-one. So instead, here's the huge list, and I'll get into a couple of highlights later on:
* King Kong
* Son of Kong
* Mighty Joe Young
* Konga
* The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms
* The Beast From Hollow Mountain
* The Giant Behemoth
* Dinosaurus!
* The Lost World
* Gorgo
* Reptilicus
* Valley of Gwangi
* Godzilla King of the Monsters
* Varan the Unbelievable
* Rodan
* Mothra the Monster God (2 versions)
* King Kong vs. Godzilla
* Godzilla vs. the Thing
* Ghidrah the Three Headed Monster
* Gammera the Invincible
* Atragon
* King Kong Escapes
* Destroy All Monsters
* Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster
* Yog Monster From Space
* The Mysterians
* Robot Monster
* It Conquered the World
* Kronos
* Caltiki the Immortal Monster
* The Blob
* Beware! The Blob
* It Came From Beneath the Sea
* Attack of the Crab Monsters
* Attack of the Giant Leeches
* The Giant Gila Monster
* The Killer Shrews
* Night of the Lepus
* Them!
* Tarantula
* Monster From Green Hell
* Beginning of the End
* The Deadly Mantis
* The Spider
* The Cyclops
* Attack of the Puppet People
* Giant From the Unknown
* The Colossus of New York
* Attack of the 50 Foot Woman
* 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock
* The Amazing Colossal Man
* War of the Colossal Beast
* The Three Worlds of Gulliver
* Village of the Giants
* The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad (2 versions)
* Goliath and the Dragon
* Atlantis the Lost Continent
* Jason and the Argonauts
As you can see, there's a collection of really cool trailers, with a little something for everyone. King Kong, Godzilla and Ray Harryhausen all in one place? You'll only get a better selection of giant beasts if you have a year's subscription to Famous Monsters of Filmland.
And you have to admire the way the credits were constructed back then - instead of hiding behind other people like "Roger Ebert says 'This Movie is the best of the year!'", they just come straight out and proclaim "This is the best movie EVER!" with bigger and bolder hyperbole. "Running wild in a terrible orgy of destruction!" or "A cast of thousands, at the mercy of the most terrifying monster that ever lived!" or "Incredibly huge, with incredible urges for love - and vengeance!"
Some of these trailers have already been released on their own separate discs, but getting them together in one place is a real treat. The Ray Harryhausen trailers look as good as their respective movies, quick paced and of course showcasing the always amazing Dynarama technique - Jason and the Argonauts being a personal favorite of mine from when I was a wee lad. The movie was great and the trailer is fun.
Toho films are well represented too, with 15 out of the 60 trailers devoted to Kaiju eiga. The Godzilla trailers are a special treat, since these tend not to show up on their respective DVD releases (like Destroy All Monsters, which was hamstrung thanks to contractual obligations with Toho). While this trend is being corrected with some of the newer Godzilla releases, I'm still happy to get them here.
THE DVD -
Being from a wide range of print sources from over several decades, the video quality is understandably all over the map. Some of the older trailers - Son of Kong for instance - suffer from splices and damage. A couple of the trailers - Gorgo and The Lost World - are faded and dull and some are just downright poor over all, like Earth versus the Spider. On the other hand, some look downright fantastic (Rodan or Destroy All Monsters) and the rest are generally in fairly good shape.
THE EXTRAS -
Well, for starters, it's a small thing, but it's a nice touch - All Day Entertainment designed the DVD case to look like the package of one of the old school Aurora Movie Monster kits from the sixties.
On noveltly side of things, we get a short documentary about the dangers of radiation (very useful), the This is Dynamation short on the making of the Seventh Voyage of Sinbad (recycled from the Seventh Voyage DVD a couple of years back), a short about the making of The Land That Time Forgot, which - as near as I can tell - doesn't appear anywhere else. Finally, there's a six minute black & white short called Mega-Morphisis.
So not quite as cool as the running commentary on 42nd Street Forever 3, but it's still pretty keen.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
Shrinking people, growing people, giant apes, giant dinosaurs, aliens from space, monsters from mythology, and horrible undead beasts - it doesn't matter what form your favorite monster takes - if you like creature features, you'll love this DVD.
THRILL - at sights never before seen by man!
Overwhelming!
Stunning!
Baffling!
CAN YOUR HEART STAND THIS MUCH TERROR?
I loves me them trailers! And how could you not? A trailer (in theory) takes all the good stuff - in this case, all the monster bits - and trim away all the fluff and fat - in this case, the endless People Talking scenes, tepid romance and the completely illogical science. While this may be counter intuitive when you get suckered into watching a dreadful movie on the basis of a cool trailer, if you have a disc full of nothing but this coolness, you cant help but win.
That's what we have here - All Day Entertainment following up their Horror of Hammer (a disc devoted to all those gothic horror classics from Hammer Studios), Tales of Frankenstein (odds and sods from Frankenstein flicks over the years) and The Pulp Cinema Trailer Collection (hard boiled Edward G. Robinson crime and detective trailers) releases with All Monsters Attack. Instead of horror or film noir, we get some of the best classic monster movies from the fifties and sixties.
As with the 42nd Street Forever series, there are way too many trailers to get into one-by-one. So instead, here's the huge list, and I'll get into a couple of highlights later on:
* King Kong
* Son of Kong
* Mighty Joe Young
* Konga
* The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms
* The Beast From Hollow Mountain
* The Giant Behemoth
* Dinosaurus!
* The Lost World
* Gorgo
* Reptilicus
* Valley of Gwangi
* Godzilla King of the Monsters
* Varan the Unbelievable
* Rodan
* Mothra the Monster God (2 versions)
* King Kong vs. Godzilla
* Godzilla vs. the Thing
* Ghidrah the Three Headed Monster
* Gammera the Invincible
* Atragon
* King Kong Escapes
* Destroy All Monsters
* Godzilla vs. the Smog Monster
* Yog Monster From Space
* The Mysterians
* Robot Monster
* It Conquered the World
* Kronos
* Caltiki the Immortal Monster
* The Blob
* Beware! The Blob
* It Came From Beneath the Sea
* Attack of the Crab Monsters
* Attack of the Giant Leeches
* The Giant Gila Monster
* The Killer Shrews
* Night of the Lepus
* Them!
* Tarantula
* Monster From Green Hell
* Beginning of the End
* The Deadly Mantis
* The Spider
* The Cyclops
* Attack of the Puppet People
* Giant From the Unknown
* The Colossus of New York
* Attack of the 50 Foot Woman
* 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock
* The Amazing Colossal Man
* War of the Colossal Beast
* The Three Worlds of Gulliver
* Village of the Giants
* The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad (2 versions)
* Goliath and the Dragon
* Atlantis the Lost Continent
* Jason and the Argonauts
As you can see, there's a collection of really cool trailers, with a little something for everyone. King Kong, Godzilla and Ray Harryhausen all in one place? You'll only get a better selection of giant beasts if you have a year's subscription to Famous Monsters of Filmland.
And you have to admire the way the credits were constructed back then - instead of hiding behind other people like "Roger Ebert says 'This Movie is the best of the year!'", they just come straight out and proclaim "This is the best movie EVER!" with bigger and bolder hyperbole. "Running wild in a terrible orgy of destruction!" or "A cast of thousands, at the mercy of the most terrifying monster that ever lived!" or "Incredibly huge, with incredible urges for love - and vengeance!"
Some of these trailers have already been released on their own separate discs, but getting them together in one place is a real treat. The Ray Harryhausen trailers look as good as their respective movies, quick paced and of course showcasing the always amazing Dynarama technique - Jason and the Argonauts being a personal favorite of mine from when I was a wee lad. The movie was great and the trailer is fun.
Toho films are well represented too, with 15 out of the 60 trailers devoted to Kaiju eiga. The Godzilla trailers are a special treat, since these tend not to show up on their respective DVD releases (like Destroy All Monsters, which was hamstrung thanks to contractual obligations with Toho). While this trend is being corrected with some of the newer Godzilla releases, I'm still happy to get them here.
THE DVD -
Being from a wide range of print sources from over several decades, the video quality is understandably all over the map. Some of the older trailers - Son of Kong for instance - suffer from splices and damage. A couple of the trailers - Gorgo and The Lost World - are faded and dull and some are just downright poor over all, like Earth versus the Spider. On the other hand, some look downright fantastic (Rodan or Destroy All Monsters) and the rest are generally in fairly good shape.
THE EXTRAS -
Well, for starters, it's a small thing, but it's a nice touch - All Day Entertainment designed the DVD case to look like the package of one of the old school Aurora Movie Monster kits from the sixties.
On noveltly side of things, we get a short documentary about the dangers of radiation (very useful), the This is Dynamation short on the making of the Seventh Voyage of Sinbad (recycled from the Seventh Voyage DVD a couple of years back), a short about the making of The Land That Time Forgot, which - as near as I can tell - doesn't appear anywhere else. Finally, there's a six minute black & white short called Mega-Morphisis.
So not quite as cool as the running commentary on 42nd Street Forever 3, but it's still pretty keen.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
Shrinking people, growing people, giant apes, giant dinosaurs, aliens from space, monsters from mythology, and horrible undead beasts - it doesn't matter what form your favorite monster takes - if you like creature features, you'll love this DVD.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE - Eighties sleaze!
While I didn’t like the Planet Terror/Death Proof Grindhouse double feature that came out last year, I do have to admit that I'm really liking the fallout from that failed project. Suddenly every DVD studio and their brother are releasing Drive-In schlock and B-Movies by the truckload. Brentwood, Alpha Video, Koch and some studios I've never heard of all shoveling out public domain releases as fast as they can - in true grindhouse style - to cash in on Rodriguez/Tarantino flick before the fad cools. The best of the bunch however has to be BCI with their Welcome to the Grindhouse series.
For the uninitiated (and if that’s the case, why are you reading this?) the term Grindhouse comes from the era of B-movie theaters famous for cranking out exploitation double-bills in the 1970’s. The prints were decrepit and worn out, the chairs hurt your ass, and the interiors were cleaned maybe twice a year - but you would consistently get your money’s worth in over-the-top sleaze, splatter and thrills. BCI Eclipse gives you all that in a double feature disc, but without the dirty old men and seats that smell funny.
The first movie up for discussion is Don't Answer The Phone, released in 1980. Kirk Smith (played astoundingly by Nicholas Worth, who also appeared in other B-movie greats such as Hell Comes to Frogtown with Roddy Piper, Wes Craven's Swamp Thing, and the blaxploitation classic Scream Blacula Scream, just to name a few) is a deranged war veteran from Vietnam vet - although I'd guess that he wasn’t right in the head before getting some quality time with Charlie. Kirk spends his free time stalking raping and then murdering women, either posing as a photographer or just out and out lurking the bushes and jumping them when they're alone.
In his free time, Kirk either rants about his abusive old man or makes frequent calls to daytime radio show host Doctor Lindsay Gale (Flo Gerrish, who's only other real film of note is the Sly Stallone arm wrestling flick Over the Top), taunting her with all kinds of sordid details of his personal life - but never quite incriminating himself, but clearly getting his jollies that way.
On the Law-and-Order side of the fence are homicide detectives Lt. McCabe and Sgt. Hatcher (played by respectively James Westmoreland and Ben Frank), heading up the Strangler case and getting nowhere - until Doctor Lindsay shows up at the police station with some vital information that could crack the case. Of course, being a 70's exploitation flick, the cop and the doctor fall in love (well, lust) and get it on. Of course it's not before long when our sweaty Strangler has kidnapped the good Doctor, and now it's up to McCabe to save the day.
Don't Answer The Phone has very little to do with a "Phone Call=Death" motif, other than the talk show doctor becoming the Strangler's main target, (the title was probably changed to cash in on the late seventies fad of movies called Don't Go in the Woods, Don't Go in the House, Don't Look in the Basement and so on.) but is a surprisingly effective and very disturbing flick. Being a exploitation film, of course everything goes and we get plenty of sex, violence and sex and violence - and while we don't see the actual rapes, this is still a really uncomfortable film to watch. Like when The Strangler hires a hooker, but instead of getting down to business once back at the hotel room, he asks her to phone the radio station. This chilling sequence has Denise tell Doctor Gail that her frequent caller is beside her, but before she gets much further Kirk slowly strangles her so that the screams are broadcast citywide through Dr Gail’s show.
In perhaps the film’s most disturbing scene, when The Strangler attacks one of the victims - who was molested as a child - she gives in to him, clutching a teddy bear and calling him “daddy” while crying like a child. Meanwhile, he calls her baby and fondly strokes her hair while treating her like she was really a child.
Holy smokes! And this coming from a hard boiled veteran of years of exploitation!
As you can imagine Nicholas Worth is the best thing in this picture. Not only is he a big intimidating dude, his demeanor is just damn disquieting - and that's when he's got his public face on. In private, he weeps, he cackles insanely, he gives talks endlessly to himself and his (apparently deceased) stepfather about him "measuring up", he puffs up his chest about strength and superiority above everyone else and goes on a bigoted rampage about a pimp he had cracked over the head just the scene before.
The problem with the film is that it's kind of schizophrenic. When The Strangler isn't on screen doing his thing, we get a standard police procedural movie with comedy bits thrown in. Just as one example: while in the course of the investigation, our two cop heroes arrive at a whorehouse. The staff mistakes the cop's completely unrelated investigation as a bust - and of course all hell breaks loose. Suddenly the hallways are filled with weirdoes in drag, Nazi dominatrixes, gimps and fags, skimpily attired patrons and deviants of all sizes and colors while our two cops look on in bemusement. Oh look, the guy tied up in the fetish gear can't get off the bed - that's Komedy!
This bizarre humor is lumped right alongside some genuinely brutal psychological violence, giving Don’t Answer the Phone feel a very uneven feel.
And I should point out that James Westmoreland is as shallow and as Nicholas Worth is awesome. He's got no personality to speak of and zero charm. Coupled with love intrest/leading lady Flo Gerrish not exactly burning up the set and Robert Hammer's rather pedestrian direction means that while Don't Answer The Phone is okay, it could have been so much better.
BREASTS ON DISPLAY: 7
EXPLOSIONS: 0
ROUNDS FIRED: 14
PUNCHES THROWN: 9
HANDRAIL DEATHS: 0
CAR CHASES: 0
FRUIT CARTS DESTROYED: 0
AFROS: 1
F BOMBS DROPPED: 7
SEVENTIES FASHION SENSIBILITIES: 13%
BEST LINE: "Adios, creep"
THE DVD -
Both films are presented in a widescreen ratio of 1.78 and while generally in overall less than stellar shape, Don't Answer the Phone (and Prime Evil, for that matter) looks reasonable for a low budget b-movie cheapie. There were some audio artifacts on Don't Answer the Phone - kind of a hollow, tinny sound in places - but those were due to the nature of production and a flaw inherent in the master than a problem with the disc.
THE EXTRAS -
There are no extras on the Welcome to the Grindhouse double feature disc, save for one: the Grindhouse Experience. As with other discs of the series, you can either watch each feature by itself or in the Grindhouse Experience. Watching that way, we start off with a Coming Attractions bumper, a trailer for Horror High and Werewolf vs the Vampire Women before Don't Answer the Phone runs. After Phone, we get another set of bumpers, the trailer for Blood Mania and Night of the Werewolf before the second feature starts.
As I understand it, there are extras on the stand-alone non-grindhouse disc - a commentary, an introduction, and an interview with Nicholas Worth, a photo gallery, a couple of Crown International trailers and an Easter egg. Worthwhile if you want to see out more on the film - but me? I'm happy with the super cheap double feature picture show.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
With names like Hammer and Castle, one would think this movie has some kind of horror pedigree. Sadly we get nowhere near Hammer Film Productions or William Castle territory here. Instead we get a serviceable if not outstanding film with some really disturbing moments.
For the uninitiated (and if that’s the case, why are you reading this?) the term Grindhouse comes from the era of B-movie theaters famous for cranking out exploitation double-bills in the 1970’s. The prints were decrepit and worn out, the chairs hurt your ass, and the interiors were cleaned maybe twice a year - but you would consistently get your money’s worth in over-the-top sleaze, splatter and thrills. BCI Eclipse gives you all that in a double feature disc, but without the dirty old men and seats that smell funny.
The first movie up for discussion is Don't Answer The Phone, released in 1980. Kirk Smith (played astoundingly by Nicholas Worth, who also appeared in other B-movie greats such as Hell Comes to Frogtown with Roddy Piper, Wes Craven's Swamp Thing, and the blaxploitation classic Scream Blacula Scream, just to name a few) is a deranged war veteran from Vietnam vet - although I'd guess that he wasn’t right in the head before getting some quality time with Charlie. Kirk spends his free time stalking raping and then murdering women, either posing as a photographer or just out and out lurking the bushes and jumping them when they're alone.
In his free time, Kirk either rants about his abusive old man or makes frequent calls to daytime radio show host Doctor Lindsay Gale (Flo Gerrish, who's only other real film of note is the Sly Stallone arm wrestling flick Over the Top), taunting her with all kinds of sordid details of his personal life - but never quite incriminating himself, but clearly getting his jollies that way.
On the Law-and-Order side of the fence are homicide detectives Lt. McCabe and Sgt. Hatcher (played by respectively James Westmoreland and Ben Frank), heading up the Strangler case and getting nowhere - until Doctor Lindsay shows up at the police station with some vital information that could crack the case. Of course, being a 70's exploitation flick, the cop and the doctor fall in love (well, lust) and get it on. Of course it's not before long when our sweaty Strangler has kidnapped the good Doctor, and now it's up to McCabe to save the day.
Don't Answer The Phone has very little to do with a "Phone Call=Death" motif, other than the talk show doctor becoming the Strangler's main target, (the title was probably changed to cash in on the late seventies fad of movies called Don't Go in the Woods, Don't Go in the House, Don't Look in the Basement and so on.) but is a surprisingly effective and very disturbing flick. Being a exploitation film, of course everything goes and we get plenty of sex, violence and sex and violence - and while we don't see the actual rapes, this is still a really uncomfortable film to watch. Like when The Strangler hires a hooker, but instead of getting down to business once back at the hotel room, he asks her to phone the radio station. This chilling sequence has Denise tell Doctor Gail that her frequent caller is beside her, but before she gets much further Kirk slowly strangles her so that the screams are broadcast citywide through Dr Gail’s show.
In perhaps the film’s most disturbing scene, when The Strangler attacks one of the victims - who was molested as a child - she gives in to him, clutching a teddy bear and calling him “daddy” while crying like a child. Meanwhile, he calls her baby and fondly strokes her hair while treating her like she was really a child.
Holy smokes! And this coming from a hard boiled veteran of years of exploitation!
As you can imagine Nicholas Worth is the best thing in this picture. Not only is he a big intimidating dude, his demeanor is just damn disquieting - and that's when he's got his public face on. In private, he weeps, he cackles insanely, he gives talks endlessly to himself and his (apparently deceased) stepfather about him "measuring up", he puffs up his chest about strength and superiority above everyone else and goes on a bigoted rampage about a pimp he had cracked over the head just the scene before.
The problem with the film is that it's kind of schizophrenic. When The Strangler isn't on screen doing his thing, we get a standard police procedural movie with comedy bits thrown in. Just as one example: while in the course of the investigation, our two cop heroes arrive at a whorehouse. The staff mistakes the cop's completely unrelated investigation as a bust - and of course all hell breaks loose. Suddenly the hallways are filled with weirdoes in drag, Nazi dominatrixes, gimps and fags, skimpily attired patrons and deviants of all sizes and colors while our two cops look on in bemusement. Oh look, the guy tied up in the fetish gear can't get off the bed - that's Komedy!
This bizarre humor is lumped right alongside some genuinely brutal psychological violence, giving Don’t Answer the Phone feel a very uneven feel.
And I should point out that James Westmoreland is as shallow and as Nicholas Worth is awesome. He's got no personality to speak of and zero charm. Coupled with love intrest/leading lady Flo Gerrish not exactly burning up the set and Robert Hammer's rather pedestrian direction means that while Don't Answer The Phone is okay, it could have been so much better.
BREASTS ON DISPLAY: 7
EXPLOSIONS: 0
ROUNDS FIRED: 14
PUNCHES THROWN: 9
HANDRAIL DEATHS: 0
CAR CHASES: 0
FRUIT CARTS DESTROYED: 0
AFROS: 1
F BOMBS DROPPED: 7
SEVENTIES FASHION SENSIBILITIES: 13%
BEST LINE: "Adios, creep"
THE DVD -
Both films are presented in a widescreen ratio of 1.78 and while generally in overall less than stellar shape, Don't Answer the Phone (and Prime Evil, for that matter) looks reasonable for a low budget b-movie cheapie. There were some audio artifacts on Don't Answer the Phone - kind of a hollow, tinny sound in places - but those were due to the nature of production and a flaw inherent in the master than a problem with the disc.
THE EXTRAS -
There are no extras on the Welcome to the Grindhouse double feature disc, save for one: the Grindhouse Experience. As with other discs of the series, you can either watch each feature by itself or in the Grindhouse Experience. Watching that way, we start off with a Coming Attractions bumper, a trailer for Horror High and Werewolf vs the Vampire Women before Don't Answer the Phone runs. After Phone, we get another set of bumpers, the trailer for Blood Mania and Night of the Werewolf before the second feature starts.
As I understand it, there are extras on the stand-alone non-grindhouse disc - a commentary, an introduction, and an interview with Nicholas Worth, a photo gallery, a couple of Crown International trailers and an Easter egg. Worthwhile if you want to see out more on the film - but me? I'm happy with the super cheap double feature picture show.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
With names like Hammer and Castle, one would think this movie has some kind of horror pedigree. Sadly we get nowhere near Hammer Film Productions or William Castle territory here. Instead we get a serviceable if not outstanding film with some really disturbing moments.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
FACES OF DEATH - Schlockumentary!
Despite being a fan of all kinds of bad exploitation cinema, I was never really into the Mondo films. Oh, sure - I've seen trailers for Secret Africa , Mondo Cane, and Shocking Asia before - but as a genre it never really floated my boat. In fact, I can only recall ever seeing one: Faces of Death.
Oh, before we roll, I should explain Mondo. A mondo film is a documentary film, usually depicting sensational topics and scenes - Mondo of course being an itilan word literally means "world". Typical mondo would try and pump up the shock value as much as possible - cruelty to animals, accidents, tribal initiation rites and primitive surgeries are a common feature of a typical mondo, with much of the action staged for the filmmaker's benefit. If Michael Moore included some gratuitous titty shots and a cow being sliced open or two, he would be making a mondo film.
Anyway, Faces of Death is probably the most well know, most infamous Mondo film around. The name was whispered in hushed tones around the schoolyard, with it's most taboo of taboos for subject matter: an actual real life SNUFF film! Nobody had ever dared to watch it though - it was always a big brother or a friend of a friend who had rented it. "Did you hear that they clubbed a monkey to death with hammers and ATE IT'S BRAINS FOR DINNER!"
And so the urban legends grew
Being that this is the most infamous of exploitation movies, it was inevitable that I'd eventually get around to seeing it. Renting, mind you, not buying. Of course seeing it again decades later, out of the subculture of the schoolyard, the movie is - and I hate to break this to you - painfully, obviously fake. Not all of it - there's still quite a bit of natural disaster stock footage, the concentration camp scene and the mortuary stuff was probably quite authentic. But the "Man getting eaten by an alligator" scene or the "Protester setting themselves on fire" bit or the aforementioned "Monkey getting hammered to death before the feast" are all clearly staged, and in some instances (like the monkey) the effects are not very convincing.
Oh sure there are a ton of scenes where folks died BEFORE the camera got there, and there are loads of genuine animal slaughters, but as a snuff film - by the strictest sense of the word - it is not.
Okay, now that we've stripped away any of the false pretence of realism, how does the movie stand up? Surprisingly well - provided that you have a stomach for this sort of thing. The film is still interesting, in a morbid sort of way - we as a species are naturally fascinated by this stuff, or why else would everyone slow down on the freeway for an accident? So even beyond the drinking game of picking out what is fake and what isnt, it's still a - well, I hesitate to call it a good movie. Perhaps entertaining is a better word.
THE DVD -
Being a direct to video release (I don't think it ever saw a domestic theatrical release) Faces of Death is a fullscreen effair. Of course thanks to the wide range of source material used for stock footage, video quality is dubious at best. Surpsingly enough, some of the newly shot stuff looks clean and pretty good. Actually, if anything, the clarity of the disc works against Faces of Death. The 6th generation VHS bootleg made it much easier to conceal the fakeness of the monkey heads and the like.
THE EXTRAS -
As far as extras go, the only thing of note is a psudo-documentary called Faces Of Death - Fact of Fiction? . I say psudo because it's done in a very tongue in cheek style with bad puns and stock footage. While it may not be a hard hitting expose on the film, at least it's entertaining - and short.
Documentary aside, we get a handful of trailers including Faces Of Death and some other similar films like The Strange And The Gruesome and Beyond Bizarre - and they all look to be about the same production level and quality of Faces of Death
THE BOTTOM LINE -
A classic of exploitation cinema? I wouldn’t go that far - but there is no denying that Faces of Death has made a mark on movie history. Even folks who don't know anything about Mondo or grindhouse or drive-in flicks know the name. Whether or not it's any good, well that I leave as an exercise to the gentle reader.
Oh, before we roll, I should explain Mondo. A mondo film is a documentary film, usually depicting sensational topics and scenes - Mondo of course being an itilan word literally means "world". Typical mondo would try and pump up the shock value as much as possible - cruelty to animals, accidents, tribal initiation rites and primitive surgeries are a common feature of a typical mondo, with much of the action staged for the filmmaker's benefit. If Michael Moore included some gratuitous titty shots and a cow being sliced open or two, he would be making a mondo film.
Anyway, Faces of Death is probably the most well know, most infamous Mondo film around. The name was whispered in hushed tones around the schoolyard, with it's most taboo of taboos for subject matter: an actual real life SNUFF film! Nobody had ever dared to watch it though - it was always a big brother or a friend of a friend who had rented it. "Did you hear that they clubbed a monkey to death with hammers and ATE IT'S BRAINS FOR DINNER!"
And so the urban legends grew
Being that this is the most infamous of exploitation movies, it was inevitable that I'd eventually get around to seeing it. Renting, mind you, not buying. Of course seeing it again decades later, out of the subculture of the schoolyard, the movie is - and I hate to break this to you - painfully, obviously fake. Not all of it - there's still quite a bit of natural disaster stock footage, the concentration camp scene and the mortuary stuff was probably quite authentic. But the "Man getting eaten by an alligator" scene or the "Protester setting themselves on fire" bit or the aforementioned "Monkey getting hammered to death before the feast" are all clearly staged, and in some instances (like the monkey) the effects are not very convincing.
Oh sure there are a ton of scenes where folks died BEFORE the camera got there, and there are loads of genuine animal slaughters, but as a snuff film - by the strictest sense of the word - it is not.
Okay, now that we've stripped away any of the false pretence of realism, how does the movie stand up? Surprisingly well - provided that you have a stomach for this sort of thing. The film is still interesting, in a morbid sort of way - we as a species are naturally fascinated by this stuff, or why else would everyone slow down on the freeway for an accident? So even beyond the drinking game of picking out what is fake and what isnt, it's still a - well, I hesitate to call it a good movie. Perhaps entertaining is a better word.
THE DVD -
Being a direct to video release (I don't think it ever saw a domestic theatrical release) Faces of Death is a fullscreen effair. Of course thanks to the wide range of source material used for stock footage, video quality is dubious at best. Surpsingly enough, some of the newly shot stuff looks clean and pretty good. Actually, if anything, the clarity of the disc works against Faces of Death. The 6th generation VHS bootleg made it much easier to conceal the fakeness of the monkey heads and the like.
THE EXTRAS -
As far as extras go, the only thing of note is a psudo-documentary called Faces Of Death - Fact of Fiction? . I say psudo because it's done in a very tongue in cheek style with bad puns and stock footage. While it may not be a hard hitting expose on the film, at least it's entertaining - and short.
Documentary aside, we get a handful of trailers including Faces Of Death and some other similar films like The Strange And The Gruesome and Beyond Bizarre - and they all look to be about the same production level and quality of Faces of Death
THE BOTTOM LINE -
A classic of exploitation cinema? I wouldn’t go that far - but there is no denying that Faces of Death has made a mark on movie history. Even folks who don't know anything about Mondo or grindhouse or drive-in flicks know the name. Whether or not it's any good, well that I leave as an exercise to the gentle reader.
Friday, March 28, 2008
PRIME EVIL - -Satanism never looked so boring!
During the sixties and seventies, inner city theaters - like their rural Drive-in kin - were forced to turn to more and lower budget fare to survive. Where the Drive-In tended to focus on wild teen movies, Rock 'N Roll musicals, beach movies and hot rod flicks, Grindhouses tended to run towards your rougher films - blaxploitation, sexploitation, splatter films, biker flicks, mondo, chambara epics, spaghetti westerns, women in prision films, and Shaw Brothers kung fu all packed with sensational elements designed to appeal to baser human emotions. Joe Bob Briggs said it best with the three Bs: Breasts, blood and beasts. Theater managers would operate around the clock, serving up all manner of taboo shattering smut and sleaze - a modern equivalent of the games at the Roman coliseum. The popcorn stale, the seats smelly, the company was. . . dubious at best and the prints were run down and faded from use.
As the VHS rose in popularity, both the Drive-in and the Grindhouse quickly became obsolite. While you can still occasionally find a drive-in or two around, the Grindhouse is all but extinct these days.
Well except for, ironically enough, home video.
BCI Eclipse's Welcome to the Grindhouse series serves up a double feature of dubious quality, a handful of trailers all at a ridiculously low price.
Prime Evil is the second half of this double header, and is young enough that it might not actually be considered Grindhouse material (its of a 1988 vintage, well after the decline of the Grindhouse). But it's on the disc anyway, so there you are.
As the Black Plague ravaged Europe in the 14th century, a group of monks decide that they've had enough with this whole God thing and break away from the church, throwing their lot in with Satan (of course), who then bestows wealth and immortality and all that other good stuff that you usually get in these deals. The downside is that their Dark Master demands a sacrifice every 13 years.
Fast forward to the present (well, the present as we knew it in 1988), with the cult still around and going strong - and of course coming up on the thirteenth year pretty darn quick. Enter Sister Angela (Mavis Harris), who gets the assignment from The Bishop to go undercover and infiltrate the satanic group and somehow stopping their black mass, and hopefully destroy it once and for all.
***BAD PUN ALERT***
When forced to undergo the satanic ritual initiation, Sister Angela throws her nun's uniform into a fire. She remains loyal to the Lord, proving it was a hard habit to break. Thank you - I'll be here all week. Try the veal.
Meanwhile across town, we meet Cathy, a college graduate prostitute with a law degree. Her councilor Alexandra has just set her up with a job interview over on Wall Street - but she gets kidnapped by a strong-armed goon in army fatigues, working for The Cult.
Alexandra has issues of her own. She confesses to her fiance Bill that she was molested and photographed as a child (a theme on this disc, it seems), and she's been messed up in the head ever since her grandfather George told her that pappy was "going away" (apparently cast into The Abyss, according to conversations later in the film). George, on the other hand is looking to be a very spry young eighty - not too surprising, considering he's one of the top dogs of The Cult.
Anyway George has been instructed to bring his granddaughter to the group's next sacrifice as the guest of honor! But first, she needs the "special attention" of cult leader Father Seaton and some extra special quality time with The Dark Lord. And so it goes, characters aimlessly drifting in and out of the storyline until the cultists have a big orgy, when Sister Angela believe she stabs a statue of the devil in the crotch and all the Satanists burst into fire and die. The end.
Um. . . what?
To say that Prime Evil is a confusing mess would be like saying that the Titanic had an accident. While both statements are true, they so vastly underestimate the problem it's comedic. The script is so crammed with characters that it's tough to keep track of who is who without a scorecard and flowchart. The plot moves along briskly, which is good, but the secondary characters keep piling up until I'm on the verge of exploding from information overload. This wouldn’t be so bad if these stories were coming together in a nice neat bundle at the end, but some just fizzle out and go nowhere, and some just get dropped only to re-emerge later on
Wow - never thought I'd say this about exploitation cinema, but there's just too much damn plot!
As far as acting goes, it's really no better or no worse than your average low grade eighties horror flick. The bad guys are EeeeeVIL, the cops are exceptionally goofball-ish, the boyfriend is maniac obsessive and the females are useless. Like I said, the performances are pretty much run of the mill for this sort of thing.
The film is directed by Roberta Findley, the bulk of her resume is hard core porno and cheap exploitation flicks like Snuff, The Oracle and the amazingly, horrifically bad Shriek of the Mutilated. As she has a track record of movies as long as my arm (and Prime Evil was one of the last films she did), you would think we'd at least get something creative, if not necessarily good. And while some of her scenes and setups have a nice shadowy film noir-ish look to them, the bulk of the movie is shot flat.
BREASTS ON DISPLAY: 1
EXPLOSIONS: 0
ROUNDS FIRED: 6
PUNCHES THROWN: 4
HANDRAIL DEATHS: 1
CAR CHASES: 0
FRUIT CARTS DESTROYED: 0
AFROS: 0F BOMBS DROPPED: 0
THE DVD -
Both films are presented in a widescreen ratio of 1.78 and while generally in overall less than stellar shape, Prime Evil (and Don't Answer the Phone for that matter) looks reasonable for a low budget b-movie cheapie.
THE EXTRAS -
There are no extras on the Welcome to the Grindhouse double feature disc, save for one: the Grindhouse Experience. As with other discs of the series, you can either watch each feature by itself or in the Grindhouse Experience. Watching that way, we start off with a Coming Attractions bumper, a trailer for Horror High and Werewolf vs the Vampire Women before Don't Answer the Phone runs. After Phone, we get another set of bumpers, the trailer for Blood Mania and Night of the Werewolf before Prime Evil starts.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
With a plot overflowing with characters and double dealing and stuff, there's just no focus in Prime Evil, and despite a (laughable) severed head sequence in the prologue this one is largely gore and nudity free. If it were all alone, I'd probably give it a miss - life is too short to waste on boring Bad Movies,
As the VHS rose in popularity, both the Drive-in and the Grindhouse quickly became obsolite. While you can still occasionally find a drive-in or two around, the Grindhouse is all but extinct these days.
Well except for, ironically enough, home video.
BCI Eclipse's Welcome to the Grindhouse series serves up a double feature of dubious quality, a handful of trailers all at a ridiculously low price.
Prime Evil is the second half of this double header, and is young enough that it might not actually be considered Grindhouse material (its of a 1988 vintage, well after the decline of the Grindhouse). But it's on the disc anyway, so there you are.
As the Black Plague ravaged Europe in the 14th century, a group of monks decide that they've had enough with this whole God thing and break away from the church, throwing their lot in with Satan (of course), who then bestows wealth and immortality and all that other good stuff that you usually get in these deals. The downside is that their Dark Master demands a sacrifice every 13 years.
Fast forward to the present (well, the present as we knew it in 1988), with the cult still around and going strong - and of course coming up on the thirteenth year pretty darn quick. Enter Sister Angela (Mavis Harris), who gets the assignment from The Bishop to go undercover and infiltrate the satanic group and somehow stopping their black mass, and hopefully destroy it once and for all.
***BAD PUN ALERT***
When forced to undergo the satanic ritual initiation, Sister Angela throws her nun's uniform into a fire. She remains loyal to the Lord, proving it was a hard habit to break. Thank you - I'll be here all week. Try the veal.
Meanwhile across town, we meet Cathy, a college graduate prostitute with a law degree. Her councilor Alexandra has just set her up with a job interview over on Wall Street - but she gets kidnapped by a strong-armed goon in army fatigues, working for The Cult.
Alexandra has issues of her own. She confesses to her fiance Bill that she was molested and photographed as a child (a theme on this disc, it seems), and she's been messed up in the head ever since her grandfather George told her that pappy was "going away" (apparently cast into The Abyss, according to conversations later in the film). George, on the other hand is looking to be a very spry young eighty - not too surprising, considering he's one of the top dogs of The Cult.
Anyway George has been instructed to bring his granddaughter to the group's next sacrifice as the guest of honor! But first, she needs the "special attention" of cult leader Father Seaton and some extra special quality time with The Dark Lord. And so it goes, characters aimlessly drifting in and out of the storyline until the cultists have a big orgy, when Sister Angela believe she stabs a statue of the devil in the crotch and all the Satanists burst into fire and die. The end.
Um. . . what?
To say that Prime Evil is a confusing mess would be like saying that the Titanic had an accident. While both statements are true, they so vastly underestimate the problem it's comedic. The script is so crammed with characters that it's tough to keep track of who is who without a scorecard and flowchart. The plot moves along briskly, which is good, but the secondary characters keep piling up until I'm on the verge of exploding from information overload. This wouldn’t be so bad if these stories were coming together in a nice neat bundle at the end, but some just fizzle out and go nowhere, and some just get dropped only to re-emerge later on
Wow - never thought I'd say this about exploitation cinema, but there's just too much damn plot!
As far as acting goes, it's really no better or no worse than your average low grade eighties horror flick. The bad guys are EeeeeVIL, the cops are exceptionally goofball-ish, the boyfriend is maniac obsessive and the females are useless. Like I said, the performances are pretty much run of the mill for this sort of thing.
The film is directed by Roberta Findley, the bulk of her resume is hard core porno and cheap exploitation flicks like Snuff, The Oracle and the amazingly, horrifically bad Shriek of the Mutilated. As she has a track record of movies as long as my arm (and Prime Evil was one of the last films she did), you would think we'd at least get something creative, if not necessarily good. And while some of her scenes and setups have a nice shadowy film noir-ish look to them, the bulk of the movie is shot flat.
BREASTS ON DISPLAY: 1
EXPLOSIONS: 0
ROUNDS FIRED: 6
PUNCHES THROWN: 4
HANDRAIL DEATHS: 1
CAR CHASES: 0
FRUIT CARTS DESTROYED: 0
AFROS: 0F BOMBS DROPPED: 0
THE DVD -
Both films are presented in a widescreen ratio of 1.78 and while generally in overall less than stellar shape, Prime Evil (and Don't Answer the Phone for that matter) looks reasonable for a low budget b-movie cheapie.
THE EXTRAS -
There are no extras on the Welcome to the Grindhouse double feature disc, save for one: the Grindhouse Experience. As with other discs of the series, you can either watch each feature by itself or in the Grindhouse Experience. Watching that way, we start off with a Coming Attractions bumper, a trailer for Horror High and Werewolf vs the Vampire Women before Don't Answer the Phone runs. After Phone, we get another set of bumpers, the trailer for Blood Mania and Night of the Werewolf before Prime Evil starts.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
With a plot overflowing with characters and double dealing and stuff, there's just no focus in Prime Evil, and despite a (laughable) severed head sequence in the prologue this one is largely gore and nudity free. If it were all alone, I'd probably give it a miss - life is too short to waste on boring Bad Movies,
Thursday, March 27, 2008
GRINDHOUSE: DEATH PROOF - for the love of god Quentin, SHUT UP!
Sorry guys - while I love exploitation cinema, horror, schlock, cheese, drive-in flicks, B-movies, blaxploitation and Kung Fu - I hated Planet Terror and Death Proof, collectively known as Grindhouse. Actually more accurately, I hated the second half of the combined entity known as Grindhouse.
For those of you just joining us, the Grindhouse premise is this: Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez love bad, trashy 70's and 80's schlock. For the bulk of his career, it's been clear that Tarantino loves movies that shock, titillate and otherwise have no redeeming values or features. And so the two set out to make intentionally bad, schlocky movies and then releases them together as if it were a double bill playing in a 42nd Street theater back in the '70s right down to the advertisements, film trailers, missing reels, projector mishaps and prints so scratchy and flawed they're close to deterioration.
In Death Proof, Tarantino unrolls a story about three Fine Young Thangs as they unexpectedly find themselves on a collision course with a charming stranger named Stuntman Mike - only to fall to a wicked end. Later, the tables are turned when Mike finds another group of girls to follow, it turns out that sometimes girls fight back!
The problem with Planet Terror, the first half of the Grindhouse double feature, is that Robert Rodriguez turns the action and blood and gore and gunfights up to 11 at the start and leaves the knob there for the remainder of the movie, bludgeoning you into a state of numbness. However while it's beating you over the head with a blood soaked baseball bat, at least it moves briskly along. And I'm fine with that - in a proper grindhouse flick, absolutely anything goes - except for the one prime directive that you must never, ever break: don't bore the audience.
The problem with Death Proof is that Tarantino has two settings: Warp Speed and Dead Stop. When the movie is running at the Warp Speed setting it's really good, but we have to suffer through nearly an hour and a half of Dead Stop to get there. Instead of pus oozing zombies being vaporized by a million rounds of ammunition, we're suffering through watching four completely interchangeable women going on endlessly about drugs and sex and pop culture without ever establishing anything close to credible or likable characters.
I have always contended that a strong editor would improve any Tarantino flick by at least 75%. The man has an inability to shut the hell up! He loves the sound of his own voice (or in this case his endless "witty banter") and can't bear to cut one second of it. Here, let me sum up Death Proof for you: Foot Fetish shot, F-Bomb, F-Bomb, lengthy conversation on an obscure 80's pop song, F-Bomb, More pop-culture, Gratuitous Cameo, F-Bomb, F-Bomb, name-check old movie, F-Bomb, Car Chase, end credits.
That's pretty much the problem that the whole project labors under - self-indulgent twaddle. Rodriguez doesn't restrain himself from going too far over the top, and here Tarantino lets the characters ramble on and on and on and on about random stuff we just don't care about until we've forgotten what the point was or have given up completely on the punch line.
So that's the bad news. What's the good news? The car chase at the end of the movie is the best god damned thing committed to film in 15 years. Sadly, the art of the car chase is lost in Hollywood. The last good - I mean really, really good - car chase that was all 100% cars and raw steel and stunt people in peril was Terminator 2. You might occasionally get a Gone In 60 Seconds or The Fast And The Furious, but compared to the classics like Bullitt or the Blues Brothers or the truck chase from Raiders of the Lost Ark, you just don't get that tire squealing, hubcap flying, muscle car goodness these days. Well, Death Proof delivers about 20 minutes of hard core old school stunt work devoid of any CGI trickery whatsoever (plus about another six minutes towards the start of the film). Fantastic!
Again, I'll put forth the hypothesis that Death Proof (and Planet Terror) would have worked better as a trailer. Take the whole movie, compress it down into five minutes and add in some of that 42nd Street hyperbole in the form of a voice over. You know, something like "Soldiers of fortune who shoot for loot, slay for pay, and slash for cash! Two masters with a thousand ways to kill! Back to back, they face Sudden Death! Molten madness erupting in a vicious vortex of violence! Sudden Death comes screaming out of the skies! The savage struggle for survival? Unleashed! Unchained! Uncontrollable! and Death Proof would have been Pure Unrefined Awesome.
THE DVD -
How do you evaluate a movie like this? On one hand, Death Proof looks horrifically bad - dust, grain, cigarette burns and scratches all over the place - everything that would normally be a big black mark against the DVD - but since they're intentional, I wont hold it against the film. The thing I *WILL* hold against it is that it's not as effective as in Planet Terror, where the manufactured scratches are on the film throughout its running time. In Death Proof, Tarantino eventually tires of the joke and the missing frames and fake blemishes vanish half way through.
THE EXTRAS -
While there's two discs, there isn't a commentary anywhere to be found. The only trailers we get are ones for Death Proof, Planet Terror, 1408, Black Sheep and Feast. The fake trailers for Machete, Werewolf Women of the S.S., Don't and Thanksgiving are nowhere to be seen on either disc. Considering that they were the best things about the Grindhouse double feature, it's a damn shame to see them left off.
At the very least they could have dug up some Public Domain trailers actually from the Grindhouse/Drive-In era and thrown them on. At least they would have fit thematically!
Disc two gets a documentary focusing on the film, more about the great stunt drivers, both old and new. Featured here are stunt co-coordinator for Death Proof Jeff Dashnaw, and his team Buddy Joe Hooker, Steve Davidson, Tracy Dashnaw, Chrissy Weathersby and Terry Leonard.
Next is a short piece about stuntwoman in general and Zoe Bell in particular. Following that is a small segment on Kurt Russell, where pretty much everyone says how cool he is (which, as a statement of fact, I have a hard time arguing against). Then there's a short with Tarantino discussing his female casting choices.
There's the uncut version of Baby It's you, performed by Mary Elizabeth Winstead of Burt Bacharach's song for Smith. There's another casting short, focusing on the guys this time around, and a section on Tarantino's editor since Reservoir Dogs, Sally Menke (who really needs to be fired).
All in all, I'd wait for the inevitable two movie box set with Planet Terror that is sure to have some great extras and the missing fake trailers.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
Well, if Tarantino set out to make a bad grindhouse style 70's flick, then he succeeded famously (and I mean that both as an insult and a compliment at the same time). Yet again Tarantino's weakness for rambling pointless dialogue nearly scuttles the movie and the horribly slow pace almost makes you fall asleep. Still, if you just skip to the last couple of chapters of the disc and the amazing car chase, you should be in good shape.
(An aside, you know the really sad thing? For the budget of just ONE of these sections, Roger Corman or Canon Films could have made a dozen films, and at least 50% of them would have been better than this! William Castle would have given his right arm for this kind of money!)
For those of you just joining us, the Grindhouse premise is this: Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez love bad, trashy 70's and 80's schlock. For the bulk of his career, it's been clear that Tarantino loves movies that shock, titillate and otherwise have no redeeming values or features. And so the two set out to make intentionally bad, schlocky movies and then releases them together as if it were a double bill playing in a 42nd Street theater back in the '70s right down to the advertisements, film trailers, missing reels, projector mishaps and prints so scratchy and flawed they're close to deterioration.
In Death Proof, Tarantino unrolls a story about three Fine Young Thangs as they unexpectedly find themselves on a collision course with a charming stranger named Stuntman Mike - only to fall to a wicked end. Later, the tables are turned when Mike finds another group of girls to follow, it turns out that sometimes girls fight back!
The problem with Planet Terror, the first half of the Grindhouse double feature, is that Robert Rodriguez turns the action and blood and gore and gunfights up to 11 at the start and leaves the knob there for the remainder of the movie, bludgeoning you into a state of numbness. However while it's beating you over the head with a blood soaked baseball bat, at least it moves briskly along. And I'm fine with that - in a proper grindhouse flick, absolutely anything goes - except for the one prime directive that you must never, ever break: don't bore the audience.
The problem with Death Proof is that Tarantino has two settings: Warp Speed and Dead Stop. When the movie is running at the Warp Speed setting it's really good, but we have to suffer through nearly an hour and a half of Dead Stop to get there. Instead of pus oozing zombies being vaporized by a million rounds of ammunition, we're suffering through watching four completely interchangeable women going on endlessly about drugs and sex and pop culture without ever establishing anything close to credible or likable characters.
I have always contended that a strong editor would improve any Tarantino flick by at least 75%. The man has an inability to shut the hell up! He loves the sound of his own voice (or in this case his endless "witty banter") and can't bear to cut one second of it. Here, let me sum up Death Proof for you: Foot Fetish shot, F-Bomb, F-Bomb, lengthy conversation on an obscure 80's pop song, F-Bomb, More pop-culture, Gratuitous Cameo, F-Bomb, F-Bomb, name-check old movie, F-Bomb, Car Chase, end credits.
That's pretty much the problem that the whole project labors under - self-indulgent twaddle. Rodriguez doesn't restrain himself from going too far over the top, and here Tarantino lets the characters ramble on and on and on and on about random stuff we just don't care about until we've forgotten what the point was or have given up completely on the punch line.
So that's the bad news. What's the good news? The car chase at the end of the movie is the best god damned thing committed to film in 15 years. Sadly, the art of the car chase is lost in Hollywood. The last good - I mean really, really good - car chase that was all 100% cars and raw steel and stunt people in peril was Terminator 2. You might occasionally get a Gone In 60 Seconds or The Fast And The Furious, but compared to the classics like Bullitt or the Blues Brothers or the truck chase from Raiders of the Lost Ark, you just don't get that tire squealing, hubcap flying, muscle car goodness these days. Well, Death Proof delivers about 20 minutes of hard core old school stunt work devoid of any CGI trickery whatsoever (plus about another six minutes towards the start of the film). Fantastic!
Again, I'll put forth the hypothesis that Death Proof (and Planet Terror) would have worked better as a trailer. Take the whole movie, compress it down into five minutes and add in some of that 42nd Street hyperbole in the form of a voice over. You know, something like "Soldiers of fortune who shoot for loot, slay for pay, and slash for cash! Two masters with a thousand ways to kill! Back to back, they face Sudden Death! Molten madness erupting in a vicious vortex of violence! Sudden Death comes screaming out of the skies! The savage struggle for survival? Unleashed! Unchained! Uncontrollable! and Death Proof would have been Pure Unrefined Awesome.
THE DVD -
How do you evaluate a movie like this? On one hand, Death Proof looks horrifically bad - dust, grain, cigarette burns and scratches all over the place - everything that would normally be a big black mark against the DVD - but since they're intentional, I wont hold it against the film. The thing I *WILL* hold against it is that it's not as effective as in Planet Terror, where the manufactured scratches are on the film throughout its running time. In Death Proof, Tarantino eventually tires of the joke and the missing frames and fake blemishes vanish half way through.
THE EXTRAS -
While there's two discs, there isn't a commentary anywhere to be found. The only trailers we get are ones for Death Proof, Planet Terror, 1408, Black Sheep and Feast. The fake trailers for Machete, Werewolf Women of the S.S., Don't and Thanksgiving are nowhere to be seen on either disc. Considering that they were the best things about the Grindhouse double feature, it's a damn shame to see them left off.
At the very least they could have dug up some Public Domain trailers actually from the Grindhouse/Drive-In era and thrown them on. At least they would have fit thematically!
Disc two gets a documentary focusing on the film, more about the great stunt drivers, both old and new. Featured here are stunt co-coordinator for Death Proof Jeff Dashnaw, and his team Buddy Joe Hooker, Steve Davidson, Tracy Dashnaw, Chrissy Weathersby and Terry Leonard.
Next is a short piece about stuntwoman in general and Zoe Bell in particular. Following that is a small segment on Kurt Russell, where pretty much everyone says how cool he is (which, as a statement of fact, I have a hard time arguing against). Then there's a short with Tarantino discussing his female casting choices.
There's the uncut version of Baby It's you, performed by Mary Elizabeth Winstead of Burt Bacharach's song for Smith. There's another casting short, focusing on the guys this time around, and a section on Tarantino's editor since Reservoir Dogs, Sally Menke (who really needs to be fired).
All in all, I'd wait for the inevitable two movie box set with Planet Terror that is sure to have some great extras and the missing fake trailers.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
Well, if Tarantino set out to make a bad grindhouse style 70's flick, then he succeeded famously (and I mean that both as an insult and a compliment at the same time). Yet again Tarantino's weakness for rambling pointless dialogue nearly scuttles the movie and the horribly slow pace almost makes you fall asleep. Still, if you just skip to the last couple of chapters of the disc and the amazing car chase, you should be in good shape.
(An aside, you know the really sad thing? For the budget of just ONE of these sections, Roger Corman or Canon Films could have made a dozen films, and at least 50% of them would have been better than this! William Castle would have given his right arm for this kind of money!)
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
BREAKIN' - The Eighties personified!
For those of you paying attention to my content here, you'll know that I'm huge into the eighties. Flock of Seagulls, the Atari 2600, Mister T, feathered hair - and of course Breakdancing. While I could never master such tricky moves (it was only a year or two ago when I got ahold of a "You can Breakdance" video that I finally learned to moonwalk), I do remember fondly the breakers at school with their cardboard mats and gigantic boom boxes poppin' and lockin' every day after school.
And where there are huge fads to be exploited, there are folks like Roger Corman and Menahem Golan and his cousin Yoram Globus were there, ready to spring into action. Oh sure, it was shamelessly capitalizing on the trends of the day, and the movies were the lowest of the low budget productions, but they were also generally entertaining and fun to watch. Cannon films seemed exceptionally adapt at tapping into what the youth of America wanted to see - Ninja, breasts, gunplay, swordplay and Chuck Norris bringing a bucket full of pain to Commies and Arabs.
Now Breakdancing wasn't quite as whored out as the other trends of the eighties, but Cannon did go to the Hip-Hop well three times: Breakin', the infamously subtitled Breakin' II: Electric Boogaloo and the Mario Van Peebles vehicle Beat Street. Where Beat Street was more dour and gritty and realistic, the two Breakin' movies were light and colorful and much more idealistic - which is why I probably favor them over the heavier tone of Beat Street.
The plot to Breakin' is nothing new - in fact the story goes back to the forties and the Mickey Rooney "Lets put on a show and save the orphanage" shows like Babes in Arms or Strike Up the Band, where the plot is really nothing more than a basic framework to hang a bunch of song and dance numbers on.
Meet Kelly (played by Lucinda Dickey, who would go on to star in another Cannon classic: Ninja III: The Domination), a waitress at a local burger joint in LA who dreams of becoming a dancer on Broadway. The problem is, she just can't seem to catch a break, and needs something new and fresh to break out of her rut. Enter Ozone and Turbo (Played by Shabba-Doo and Boogaloo Shrimp, sporting far cooler real life names than their in-film characters), the baddest street dancers down on the boardwalk. Oh sure, chumps like Electro-Rock are always getting up in their grill trying to start something, but much like MC Hammer, they cant touch Ozone and Turbo.
Kelly becomes captivated by the pair's funky fresh moves, and begs them to teach her how to Breakdance. Her agent, however, isn't so down with the street. Kelly has potential, but if she really wants to make it, she'll have to abandon these low brow street dancers and commit fully to the more accepted dance methods.
Meanwhile, Ozone has a similar problem. His friendship with Kelly means that he could quit his day job sweeping out the corner supermarket and dance professionally - if he gives up the street. As much as he wants a shot at the big time, Ozone doesn't want to compromise his look and his roots by selling out. Can Ozone and Turbo convince the narrow-minded The Man that breakin' is a legitimate form of art? Will Kelly help Ozone gain success while staying true to his ideals? And what of the evil Electro-Rock gang, looking to bring down the pair in a dance off to end all dance offs?
Okay, so the story is basically Flashdance, but with Breakdancing, the premise is goofy as hell and the whole production is very firmly trapped in the eighties in both look and style, but I couldn’t help get won over by the movie's innate charm, it's positive energy and optimistic tone. The world of Breakin' is a world where the weather is always perfect, the colors are vivid, the cultural diversity is accepted without blinking an eye and conflicts between rival gangs are settled with a breakdance battle instead of knives and guns.
But what Breakin' lacks in realism it more than makes up for with enthusiasm. None of the main cast was veteran actors when Breakin' was made, more familiar with dancing than the thespian arts - and yet they manage to carry themselves through sheer energy and natural charm and stunning good looks. Not that it matters anyway since the real star of the movie is the dancing - and on that front Breakin' acquits itself nicely. From Breakdancing to bits of Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire routines, Breakin' is full of lively, energetic dance and musical numbers and some great eighties pop music.
Breakin' was directed by Joel Silberg, who up until this point had worked primarily as a director on movies over in Israel. He would go on to direct a couple more films for Cannon: Lambada: The Forbidden Dance and the fairly forgettable Rappin'. But for now, Joel manages to keep things lively and interesting. Shabba-Doo went on to serve as a choreographer for artists such as Lionel Richie, Madonna, and Luther Vandross - just to name a few. Meanwhile Shabba-Doo managed to spin his carrer into parts in Naked Gun 33 1/3, Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, Dudley Do-Right and a spot on an episode of Family Matters. Not exactly a stellar career, but better than I've done. Lucinda did a couple more films before retiring and marrying the co-producer from Survivor.
So they didn’t exactly set the film world on fire after this. But we get at least one more Breakin' movie out of them (and, as I hear) rumors of a third one going into production. More importantly, despite what you might have heard, this actually isn't a bad movie. Sure it looks dated, but what's wrong with that? The movie was a product of it's time and culture. Yeah the plot is simple - but then does everything have to be a twisty, turny labyrinth of story telling? Not everything has to be heavy, angry and angsty
In short, Breakin' is simple, harmless, entertaining fun.
THE DVD -
The DVD is presented in a full frame format - but it's not pan and scan. As I understand it, most of the Cannon films in the eighties were shot open-matte format and cropped down to widescreen for release. So of course I'd prefer a widescreen anamorphic print, at least we're not losing any information from the sides - crucial to a movie that has choreography featured so prominently.
THE EXTRAS -
Sadly, the only extra is just the theatrical trailer. There is a box set with both Breakin' movies and Beat Street that comes with a fourth disc full of documentaries and whatnot - but the set came out after the individual releases, so I don't have that and cant tell you anything more about it other than it exists.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
Is Breakin' a good movie? No, not really. Is Breakin' a fun movie? Hell yes - and anyone who knows me knows that fun and entertaining trumps well made and "good" any day of the week (and twice on Sundays).
And where there are huge fads to be exploited, there are folks like Roger Corman and Menahem Golan and his cousin Yoram Globus were there, ready to spring into action. Oh sure, it was shamelessly capitalizing on the trends of the day, and the movies were the lowest of the low budget productions, but they were also generally entertaining and fun to watch. Cannon films seemed exceptionally adapt at tapping into what the youth of America wanted to see - Ninja, breasts, gunplay, swordplay and Chuck Norris bringing a bucket full of pain to Commies and Arabs.
Now Breakdancing wasn't quite as whored out as the other trends of the eighties, but Cannon did go to the Hip-Hop well three times: Breakin', the infamously subtitled Breakin' II: Electric Boogaloo and the Mario Van Peebles vehicle Beat Street. Where Beat Street was more dour and gritty and realistic, the two Breakin' movies were light and colorful and much more idealistic - which is why I probably favor them over the heavier tone of Beat Street.
The plot to Breakin' is nothing new - in fact the story goes back to the forties and the Mickey Rooney "Lets put on a show and save the orphanage" shows like Babes in Arms or Strike Up the Band, where the plot is really nothing more than a basic framework to hang a bunch of song and dance numbers on.
Meet Kelly (played by Lucinda Dickey, who would go on to star in another Cannon classic: Ninja III: The Domination), a waitress at a local burger joint in LA who dreams of becoming a dancer on Broadway. The problem is, she just can't seem to catch a break, and needs something new and fresh to break out of her rut. Enter Ozone and Turbo (Played by Shabba-Doo and Boogaloo Shrimp, sporting far cooler real life names than their in-film characters), the baddest street dancers down on the boardwalk. Oh sure, chumps like Electro-Rock are always getting up in their grill trying to start something, but much like MC Hammer, they cant touch Ozone and Turbo.
Kelly becomes captivated by the pair's funky fresh moves, and begs them to teach her how to Breakdance. Her agent, however, isn't so down with the street. Kelly has potential, but if she really wants to make it, she'll have to abandon these low brow street dancers and commit fully to the more accepted dance methods.
Meanwhile, Ozone has a similar problem. His friendship with Kelly means that he could quit his day job sweeping out the corner supermarket and dance professionally - if he gives up the street. As much as he wants a shot at the big time, Ozone doesn't want to compromise his look and his roots by selling out. Can Ozone and Turbo convince the narrow-minded The Man that breakin' is a legitimate form of art? Will Kelly help Ozone gain success while staying true to his ideals? And what of the evil Electro-Rock gang, looking to bring down the pair in a dance off to end all dance offs?
Okay, so the story is basically Flashdance, but with Breakdancing, the premise is goofy as hell and the whole production is very firmly trapped in the eighties in both look and style, but I couldn’t help get won over by the movie's innate charm, it's positive energy and optimistic tone. The world of Breakin' is a world where the weather is always perfect, the colors are vivid, the cultural diversity is accepted without blinking an eye and conflicts between rival gangs are settled with a breakdance battle instead of knives and guns.
But what Breakin' lacks in realism it more than makes up for with enthusiasm. None of the main cast was veteran actors when Breakin' was made, more familiar with dancing than the thespian arts - and yet they manage to carry themselves through sheer energy and natural charm and stunning good looks. Not that it matters anyway since the real star of the movie is the dancing - and on that front Breakin' acquits itself nicely. From Breakdancing to bits of Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire routines, Breakin' is full of lively, energetic dance and musical numbers and some great eighties pop music.
Breakin' was directed by Joel Silberg, who up until this point had worked primarily as a director on movies over in Israel. He would go on to direct a couple more films for Cannon: Lambada: The Forbidden Dance and the fairly forgettable Rappin'. But for now, Joel manages to keep things lively and interesting. Shabba-Doo went on to serve as a choreographer for artists such as Lionel Richie, Madonna, and Luther Vandross - just to name a few. Meanwhile Shabba-Doo managed to spin his carrer into parts in Naked Gun 33 1/3, Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, Dudley Do-Right and a spot on an episode of Family Matters. Not exactly a stellar career, but better than I've done. Lucinda did a couple more films before retiring and marrying the co-producer from Survivor.
So they didn’t exactly set the film world on fire after this. But we get at least one more Breakin' movie out of them (and, as I hear) rumors of a third one going into production. More importantly, despite what you might have heard, this actually isn't a bad movie. Sure it looks dated, but what's wrong with that? The movie was a product of it's time and culture. Yeah the plot is simple - but then does everything have to be a twisty, turny labyrinth of story telling? Not everything has to be heavy, angry and angsty
In short, Breakin' is simple, harmless, entertaining fun.
THE DVD -
The DVD is presented in a full frame format - but it's not pan and scan. As I understand it, most of the Cannon films in the eighties were shot open-matte format and cropped down to widescreen for release. So of course I'd prefer a widescreen anamorphic print, at least we're not losing any information from the sides - crucial to a movie that has choreography featured so prominently.
THE EXTRAS -
Sadly, the only extra is just the theatrical trailer. There is a box set with both Breakin' movies and Beat Street that comes with a fourth disc full of documentaries and whatnot - but the set came out after the individual releases, so I don't have that and cant tell you anything more about it other than it exists.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
Is Breakin' a good movie? No, not really. Is Breakin' a fun movie? Hell yes - and anyone who knows me knows that fun and entertaining trumps well made and "good" any day of the week (and twice on Sundays).
Monday, March 24, 2008
DELTA FORCE 2 - Just say no.
In the Eighties, there were only movie three villains of any note: Dirty Nasty Godless Communists, Evil Towel Wearing Terrorists and Slimy Drug Dealers. You'd occasionally get some crossover, Slimy Drug Dealers that were working for Dirty Nasty Godless Communists (The Living Daylights), or Evil Towel Wearing Terrorists working for the Dirty Nasty Godless Communists (Rambo III) but for the most part it was one or the other.
Since Chuck had taken out the Evil Towel Wearing Terrorists in the first Delta Force, it was time for head south of the border to Costa Unspecifidia to Just Say No.
After taking out a DEA hit team, the government sends Delta Force to snatch Ramone Cota (played by the ever fabulous Billy Drago) and drag his sorry butt back to the united states for trial. Chuck and his ethnically appropriate partner Bobby Payne grab Cota onboard a plane as it passes over international waters, haul him down to the cargo bay and throw him out sans parachute, millions of dollars streaming from his briefcase as he falls. Chuck, being the badass that he is, leaps after him and hauls Cota to safety before he goes splat in international waters.
Faster than you can say "Violated Miranda Rights", Cota is out on bail - but not before Billy gives him a good right hook for his efforts. Unfortunately that just means that Cota now has to extract vengeance from Billy by killing his lovely wife and son (who we met several scenes before, and they had the stink of the walking dead the second I laid eyes on them).
Billy, now obsessed with Cota's death, flies to Costa Unspecifidia to personally extract a pound of flesh, despite Chuck's warnings that vengeance isn’t the right thing to do. Of course when Billy is gassed to death by Cota not but a few scenes later, Chuck abandons his zen buddist stance and delivers a first class beatdown in revenge for killing his partner. Much ass kicking ensues.
Movies like Invasion U.S.A. or Rambo or Delta Force live or die by the action sequences they can deliver. The plots are often nonsense, the acting is poor to non-existent and the character development consists of two lines of exposition, and we're willing to put up with all that just so long as the movie delivers on the visceral thrills. The problem with Delta Force 2 is that it fails to deliver on the ass-kicking. There are a couple of good sequences here and there, but for the most part these are broken up by waaaaaay too many scenes of people talking.
Even worse, there's an extended Rock Climbing sequence as Chuck infiltrates the enemy stronghold. As any bad movie fan knows, Rock Climbing is second only to Scuba Diving as an sure fire excitement killer. And ten minutes of Chuck climbing is about nine minutes too long.
I'm probably earning myself a roundhouse kick from the Beard Himself, but the film's director Aaron Norris (yes, Chuck's brother) is lackadaisical and pedestrian. He just has no visual flare or sense of pacing, and the film suffers for it.
BREASTS ON DISPLAY: 0
EXPLOSIONS: 64
ROUNDS FIRED: 2,831
PUNCHES THROWN: 213 (and one roundhouse kick)
HANDRAIL DEATHS: 1
CAR CHASES: 1
FRUIT CARTS DESTROYED: 0
NINJA? No
F BOMBS DROPPED: 5
BEST LINE: " You're nothing but a chickenshit weasel who thrives on the misery of others. And when death calls, you'll be screaming like a baby."
BEST KILL Chuck impales a guy on an Aztec statue.
THE DVD -
Sadly we get a full frame edition - although not necessarily pan and scan. From my reading, I think that Cannon shot all their films in open-matte format, meaning that they cropped the top and bottom for later release, so I don't think we're losing any picture. The framing doesn't seem tight or cropped like you would normally get in a pan and scan print. Not the most desirable outcome, but it could be worse.
Like the rest of the Chuck Norris collection, this print is passable but not outstanding. There were some scratches here and there, but not anything that would detract too badly.
THE EXTRAS -
Sadly, like all the other Cannon Film releases, all we get is a trailer - and that’s it.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
Delta Force 2 sags and droops like a 50 cent prostitute in Thailand. There is too much rock climbing and planning and strategy in-between the good bits we all came to see: chuck kicking mucho grande ass and blowing things up really good. Billy Drago does some typically wonderful acting, but he alone is unable to carry the film.
Sorry Chuck, but it t'aint working for me.
Since Chuck had taken out the Evil Towel Wearing Terrorists in the first Delta Force, it was time for head south of the border to Costa Unspecifidia to Just Say No.
After taking out a DEA hit team, the government sends Delta Force to snatch Ramone Cota (played by the ever fabulous Billy Drago) and drag his sorry butt back to the united states for trial. Chuck and his ethnically appropriate partner Bobby Payne grab Cota onboard a plane as it passes over international waters, haul him down to the cargo bay and throw him out sans parachute, millions of dollars streaming from his briefcase as he falls. Chuck, being the badass that he is, leaps after him and hauls Cota to safety before he goes splat in international waters.
Faster than you can say "Violated Miranda Rights", Cota is out on bail - but not before Billy gives him a good right hook for his efforts. Unfortunately that just means that Cota now has to extract vengeance from Billy by killing his lovely wife and son (who we met several scenes before, and they had the stink of the walking dead the second I laid eyes on them).
Billy, now obsessed with Cota's death, flies to Costa Unspecifidia to personally extract a pound of flesh, despite Chuck's warnings that vengeance isn’t the right thing to do. Of course when Billy is gassed to death by Cota not but a few scenes later, Chuck abandons his zen buddist stance and delivers a first class beatdown in revenge for killing his partner. Much ass kicking ensues.
Movies like Invasion U.S.A. or Rambo or Delta Force live or die by the action sequences they can deliver. The plots are often nonsense, the acting is poor to non-existent and the character development consists of two lines of exposition, and we're willing to put up with all that just so long as the movie delivers on the visceral thrills. The problem with Delta Force 2 is that it fails to deliver on the ass-kicking. There are a couple of good sequences here and there, but for the most part these are broken up by waaaaaay too many scenes of people talking.
Even worse, there's an extended Rock Climbing sequence as Chuck infiltrates the enemy stronghold. As any bad movie fan knows, Rock Climbing is second only to Scuba Diving as an sure fire excitement killer. And ten minutes of Chuck climbing is about nine minutes too long.
I'm probably earning myself a roundhouse kick from the Beard Himself, but the film's director Aaron Norris (yes, Chuck's brother) is lackadaisical and pedestrian. He just has no visual flare or sense of pacing, and the film suffers for it.
BREASTS ON DISPLAY: 0
EXPLOSIONS: 64
ROUNDS FIRED: 2,831
PUNCHES THROWN: 213 (and one roundhouse kick)
HANDRAIL DEATHS: 1
CAR CHASES: 1
FRUIT CARTS DESTROYED: 0
NINJA? No
F BOMBS DROPPED: 5
BEST LINE: " You're nothing but a chickenshit weasel who thrives on the misery of others. And when death calls, you'll be screaming like a baby."
BEST KILL Chuck impales a guy on an Aztec statue.
THE DVD -
Sadly we get a full frame edition - although not necessarily pan and scan. From my reading, I think that Cannon shot all their films in open-matte format, meaning that they cropped the top and bottom for later release, so I don't think we're losing any picture. The framing doesn't seem tight or cropped like you would normally get in a pan and scan print. Not the most desirable outcome, but it could be worse.
Like the rest of the Chuck Norris collection, this print is passable but not outstanding. There were some scratches here and there, but not anything that would detract too badly.
THE EXTRAS -
Sadly, like all the other Cannon Film releases, all we get is a trailer - and that’s it.
THE BOTTOM LINE -
Delta Force 2 sags and droops like a 50 cent prostitute in Thailand. There is too much rock climbing and planning and strategy in-between the good bits we all came to see: chuck kicking mucho grande ass and blowing things up really good. Billy Drago does some typically wonderful acting, but he alone is unable to carry the film.
Sorry Chuck, but it t'aint working for me.
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